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Thursday, July 19, 2012

before Pinterest...

before pinterest I'm a pinner. I could be considered a pin-aholic. Pinterest is a huge time-suck for me. I was a pinner before there was a Pinterest, it's true. I got this nifty little folio from my aunt and began naming the different sections with things I loved that I saw in magazines or online. My collection grew and grew. before pinterest boards Here's one of my old school "boards". I'm not a typical gift giver. I hate giving gift cards (almost refuse to do it!) but instead love to make things for others or visit the amazing Etsy. I tend to be finicky, wanting a person's gift to be perfect for them, so sometimes I can shop forever. I love getting the reaction, "Where did you find that?" or "Oh, I'd never thought of that!". It's funny because some of my relatives will now say, "Let me guess, you got this from Pinterest!". I love it. Pinterest is not a good site for someone like me! Seriously, when the boys are in bed, I'm up late at night relaxing with a little Netflix and Pinterest. Thank heavens for two computer screens! Pinterest up on one and Netflix on the other. Recently, stand up comedies have been popular for me. Gotta love a little Ralphie May... Looking for gifts on Pinterest is fun, but so is looking for new ideas, recipes, etc... You know what kind of stinks though? Everyone is on Pinterest now. So, those neat original ideas aren't really neat and original now! :) You know the pins I'm talking about... Like projects that have been done over and over... You know those first pins you put on Pinterest and now you can't hit 'See More Pins' without seeing them? And, then there's the Pinterest guilt - which is calling someone out on something you THINK is from Pinterest and it really isn't - Like tonight, I went to a friend's 31 party. She made these appetizers. Before I could say, "These are great!" I didn't even attempt to give her credit, I just beamed at her and said, "Oh goodness! I saw these on Pinterest too! They're awesome!" Geez, Bri. Give the gal some credit! Turns out, she hadn't gotten them on Pinterest, she's actually made them since way before Pinterest. Wha? Life before Pinterest? Pinterest is kinda becoming a giant beast. :) Smash it. In other news, I just got this Smash book today! I've been wanting one for a while. Inside are nifty looking pages that you can basically journal on, plop pictures on, and creatively decorate. A glorified, messier scrapbook. Love it. This Smash book will be for me though. More about my feelings, my experiences, my marriage, my friends, etc... Gabe has a lot of albums. I'm looking forward to filling it with pages about me and bits and pieces of my life as a wife, sister, daughter, and friend. Lastly, and totally off topic, I am in love with this song right now. To many it's old, to me it's new... I don't get out much. Just listen to it... the video is kinda weird. Oh, and saw this Jason Mraz quote the other day and loved it: "Because I have (insert name here) for a friend, I know I'm awesome." Had to share that with my bestie this week.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Where I've been.

my beautiful boy.

Peek a boo... I've been gone for a while, haven't I? There are the normal excuses that life has been busy (which it has), I've been lazy (which I kind of have), and I've been uninspired. I have had a lot on my mind lately, but I haven't been out here because I didn't want to share it all. Life's been pretty hard the last couple of months and if it's on my mind, I'm going to want to write about it. So, I've purposefully stayed off the blog.

I've grown a lot in the last couple of months. I've learned so much about myself from just taking some time off and really examining myself and who I want to be. I've found that I'm just too much of a people-pleaser and I care far too much about what people think. It's quite freeing to start thinking about who you want to be and not trying to be what you think other people want you to be. It's also quite freeing to know that you're never going to please everyone, so you might as well do what makes you happy. I've also had a couple of confrontations in the last couple of months which have produced growing pains, but have made me so much stronger. I spoke up to a couple of people that have always made me feel insecure.

Being 'free' is the word that keeps coming back to me. Just being free to be myself and understand that the ones who live in my home are my family. Their opinion of me and their input on my decisions is what matters most. I have a loving, supportive husband that reassures me, backs me one hundred percent (110%...inside joke), and just plain sees me for the person I am and I'm trying to be. I have a son who loves his mom and wants to spend time with her. I am very blessed.

I know this post is rather vague. I am ready to start blogging more consistently now that I've moved on through those growing pains. I hope to really start opening up more on here and talking about feeling insecure, not worth it, etc... I think it's something a lot of people struggle with. I know I have. But, I'm moving out of that... I'm trying to leave it behind. Growing pains are rough, but they make you stronger.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

slow down.

Spring fun

Yes, I know. It's been a long time. A very long time.

Right now I really feel like God is telling me to slow down with life a little bit and take care of a few things. Slow down. Be patient and trust Me. I can't really explain it other than it is very clear that I have too much going on. Schedules are crazy and school hasn't even started yet for this kiddo. We're almost ready to finish up preschool and before kindergarten starts, we need to slow down. God has been so faithful to our family here recently.

I have been praying that we would find a church that we really loved. I wanted to find a church extremely different from the one we had been attending. I shared the same beliefs as our former church, but I just didn't feel the love. There was an issue that caused a pretty large rift in the congregation. I really feel like I've moved on and forgiven a lot of people who made choices that they felt God led them to do. I believe they prayed about their decisions and came to their conclusions based on prayer. However, their decisions didn't match our needs. We left for a couple of years, looking for new churches some Sundays, and other Sundays choosing instead to visit the church of St. Mattress... yeah, we slept in and took it easy. I'm thankful for those days. I'm thankful that Gabe wasn't really at an age to understand why we weren't going to church anywhere and that he just saw it as a another day home with Mom and Dad. However, now, he's older and our job as his parents is to introduce him to Christ. We were lacking.

A few weeks ago, a great friend of ours suggested we try this new church out. She loved it. At first, I was really reluctant to go. Really reluctant. I felt like Rodney Carrington, "Hey! We're the new people!" I dreaded the small talk and getting to know new people. I'm not good in situations like that. My husband on the other hand, is very charismatic and can strike up a conversation with most people. (Isn't it great how God matches us like that?) I'm usually clinging to his side, begging him not to leave me alone! Anyway, we went and we loved the church. It is a miniature church of a mega church we have near us, operating in a very similar way. Their childcare system is similar, the worship band is similar, and the sermons are fantastic. My favorite part of the service? They have a call to prayer. Anyone needing prayer is invited to go up front and a member of the prayer team will pray for him or her with a hand placed gently on the pray-ee's shoulder. I was so moved the first Sunday we went!

I knew I wanted a place like this. I had been praying that my husband would be excited about whatever new church we found too. That was key for me. I wanted him to love it. In our former church, since the rift, I have never felt comfortable going to anyone for a concern or counsel. I have not asked anyone to pray for me. I did not feel like I was in my home of worship. My mind was elsewhere every time we entered the door.

At the new church, there is a sense of freedom... it's all about Him. I'm not naive. I know every church has it's problems and issues. I know we are all sinners and fall short of the glory of our God. However, right now, I am basking in the joy of a new place where I haven't been scarred. I am lifting my voice to the sound of Rock of Ages. I am taking in the Scripture. I am wanting to get out of bed Sunday mornings and go back. So is my son. So is my husband.

I'm thankful for answered prayers tonight. I hope this is the place we've been looking for.

In slowing down, I also resigned from my seasonal farming job. The hours were becoming far too inconsistent. I planned on 'farming' the entire Spring. Due to a long, dry Spring my help wasn't needed other than a few days here and there. It caused Greg and I to think a lot about the future seasons as well. Not only did that mess up my schedule, it also caused the babysitter's schedule to be ever-changing which didn't seem fair to her. So, I resigned, knowing I'm going to be busy with my other part time job as well as my full time job of being a mom. I'm so thankful for my other job (working in an insurance office half days) because they are very flexible with hours and understand that especially with a child, things come up. This finally feels like a job designed for part time hours! I've tried part time twice before - once with the farming, and the other was the job I was working full time when Gabe was born. That one didn't work out so well because it wasn't thought out very well at all by the company. Knee-jerk decisions were made by people who "never wanted to make knee-jerk decisions". Yeah, I'm still a little bitter. But, that's a post for another day.

So that's where I've been. I've been reading my favorite bloggers out there, keeping up on what's up with you. But, I've not been a good blogger in letting you know what's up with me! It's an ongoing battle. :) I hope you all are well and thanks for reading! I enjoy sharing blessings with you!


Thursday, April 5, 2012

May the odds be ever in your favor.

95.365 I know...crazy.

It's very rare that a book or series of books with captivate me so much that I am unable to put them down. Reading The Hunger Games was totally captivating. I have to say, the first book had me nail biting and shivering for the characters. I read the book in two or three days and during that time, I didn't get to bed before 1:00 am. I paid attention to so many of the details and really tried to make the book last.

After I finished the first book, we were in a large town nearby and I wanted to buy the 2nd and 3rd book at Walmart. Walmart online had the books for nearly $3.00 cheaper (per book) if you delivered them to the store to pick them up. So, we thought we would ask if they would just honor the price difference. I mean really, do you think the big Walmart in the sky is going to ship 2 books to the Walmart store and have them there and ready for me? Or do you think some Walmart employee was going to just go grab the two books off the shelf and set them aside for me. I think the latter is probably what would happen! Well, they wouldn't honor the prices... grr...

So, based on principle, we didn't buy the books that night. The next day, I decided I couldn't wait to have them shipped from somewhere and I'd just go to a nearby smaller town with a Walmart there and pay the ugly Walmart creature it's money. But, to my surprise, they DID NOT have books 2 and 3. WHAT? C'mon! This is only the most popular series out now! So, fed up with Walmart, I finally went to Kmart... knowing I'd pay more but now absolutely against feeding the Walmart creature any of my money.

I got the books, paid $3.00 more for them than the online Walmart price and was happy that I finally had my hands on them.

If you haven't had a chance to read this series, add it to your Goodreads! If you're not familiar with Goodreads, it's a website where you can create a series of bookshelves of books you'd like to read, books you've read, and books you are reading. I'm sure you can create more shelves, but I'm set up pretty basic right now. You can also add friends to your Goodreads. You can take a look at what books they are reading and and them to your shelves. Another benefit to Goodreads is they can recommend books for you based on what you've read and liked. Then, I request them from my local library through inter-library loan. I start that process while I'm still reading another book to give my library time to get my requested book. I also like the site because the books have been rated by other readers.

So, I'll be back in Panem once again, looking forward to another round of The Hunger Games. Effie, Haymitch, Peeta, Katniss, Gale, all my favorite characters. I know things will turn out the same, but maybe I'll catch some details that were overlooked the first time. Oh, I should point out something funny too... A few weeks ago, I borrowed Tina Fey's book from a friend. Unbeknownst to me, my son took my booklight, stirred it into some Vicks Vaporub, and smeared it on the back of her book. She very sweetly declined a new copy of the book and just put the jacket back on it. A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine borrowed the first Hunger Games book. While she was reading it, she (or one of her kids) got a lot of butter on it! HA! When she returned my book, she presented my babysitter with a new copy of the book (which I would've declined if I was there!) How funny!! We moms try to save a little money by borrowing books and then our kids make us end up buying them anyway! PS: Thanks, Kimberly for being so gracious!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

my darlin.

my darlin.



If you were a boat, my darling
A boat, my darling
I'd be the wind at your back
If you were afraid, my darling
Afraid, my darling
I'd be the courage you lack

If you were a bird, then I'd be a tree
And you would come home, my darling, to me
If you were asleep, then I'd be a dream
Wherever you are, that's where my heart will be
Oh, do you know we belong together?
Oh, do you know my heart is yours?


If you were the ocean, I'd be the sand
If you were a song, I'd be the band
If you were the stars, then I'd be the moon
A light in the dark, my darling, for you


Oh, do you know we belong together?
Oh, do you know my heart is yours?

(My favorite parts in bold - although I could have bolded the entire song!)

I have been somewhat captivated by this song since I first heard it. If you haven't heard it, I would encourage you to listen to it. It is the sweetest thing. It reminds me of me and my Gabers so very much.

I've been somewhat captivated by my little boy here lately too. Life has just been so good. I have cried listening to this song, how much it reminds me that we belong together. Us. Gabe, Greg, & Me. My little boy is growing up so fast. As I listen to the song right now, tears running down my cheeks, I know that my heart is permanently fastened to this wonderful kid. I'm forever going to be his mom: the wind at his back, the courage he lacks, a light in the dark. A soft place to land, always home, his biggest cheerleader, a shoulder to cry on, a kiss for the ouchies.

What a gift to me. God has blessed me.

Friday, March 30, 2012

where have I been?

Life has been busy and my second job hasn't even started back up yet. I swear by the time Gabe goes to bed at night, I'm wiped. All I want to do is catch up on my 'programs' and play a little Words with Friends. Wiped.

90.365 Delicious!

Tonight we had an awesome dinner. Chipotle-esque carnita soft tacos, complete with the cilantro lime rice. It was fantastic! Greg loved them too.

89.365

Another wonderful thing that has been taking up my time has been The Hunger Games. Fantastic books. Fantastic. The first book was addicting... I couldn't stop reading it. The second book was good, and the third book started out slow but got very interesting about halfway through. Now that the series is over, I'm feeling a little bit lost. If you haven't read them, do it!!

88.365 Somehow I knew this day would come.

Ahhh, yes, and this. (He's not pouting, I just made him bend his head down to show off his new 'do'). Gabe decided that he was going to become a hairstylist, I guess. I actually didn't freak out about this... I laughed. I had to hold the laughter back while I was in front of him. Obviously, we had to have a talk about the dangers of scissors and how you can only use them with an adult. But, inside I was just cracking up.

I started a new job a couple of weeks ago. I'm doing some internet-based plat mapping/proofing for an insurance agency in a nearby town. I really like it. I can't believe how much my work for my other job (with a farm chemical application business) helped to prepare me for this job. Both jobs really kind of fell into place... Scheduling and everything. Basically, I'll be working 40 hours a week during the chemical applicator's busy season (April through June/July and Oct & Nov) and the rest of the time, I'll be working fewer hours... depending on the insurance agency's needs. So, for a few months of the year, I'll be pretty busy.

I have to be honest... I don't know how working moms work 40+ hours a week. How they get all the laundry, dishes, dusting, vacuuming, etc... done? Then, add on the guilt. I always feel guilty, even when I'm working part time that I don't get Gabe to the park often enough, or he isn't outside much of the time. How does it happen??? When do these moms get their other work done? I mean, if they spend most of their day outside with their kids, how do they clean, do laundry, and put a hot meal on the table at the end of the day? I need to somehow find a balance.

It's reallllly easy to slip into the Mom Insecurity Zone. Do any of you fall into that? If so, how do you cope with it? Thankfully, my husband plays a lot with Gabe outside while I'm trying to get dinner ready. While I'm full time, there are gonna be a lot of crockpot meals. I guess I just gotta do the best that I can, and try not to feel guilty that I'm not doing enough.

I recently went to a mom's seminar in which they discussed 'true guilt' vs. 'false guilt'. True guilt is when you've done something to violate God's law or man's law - something you can repent for and try to mend either with God or man. False guilt is just the opposite. It's stuff you worry about that hasn't happened, or you haven't offended, and isn't supported by either of those requirements. I've been trying to let a lot of the false guilt go. I know I'm loving my child, working hard for my family, and honoring my husband. I'm doing my best to be a good friend, a good daughter, and a good sibling. Sure, I make mistakes every day and I do pray about those things. I ask God for help in being a good mother. I guess that is all I can do.

So, if you're a mom with false guilt, let it go. If you have true guilt, do what you can do (what God has asked us to do) to mend it. And, holy cow... it's tough for all of us, so let's be real! (Nothing irks me more than the moms with the perfect life, perfect balance, perfect kids.) C'mon, one of her kids had to have clogged her toilet with a decorative ball at least once, right? Not that it's happened to me... (Ok, so it happened at my parent's house, but it was still my kid).


Friday, March 16, 2012

75:365 Some of my Favorites

5.365 Janx

I am 75 days into my 365 project. I'm so glad I decided to take part in it. 75 days! I haven't missed one! It's been a really fun thing to do. When I started the project, I thought it would be fun to add text to each picture so I could remember what I was thinking when I took it. I have gone back and forth as to whether or not I like the text on the pictures. But, I started it, so I gotta finish it that way. Look at my Janx... isn't she sweet?

24.365 Love me my Greggie.

I really liked this picture of our class rings. Our high school dating days were wonderful. I had an excellent boyfriend. Accepting his marriage proposal was the best decision I've ever made in my life.

29.365 babysitting Dougie

Ha! I love this picture of Dougie. What a sweetheart. I've been able to see him a lot in the last couple of weeks and have just really enjoyed that time with him.

34.365 Getting Ready for Valentine's Day.

My sweet boy! I love this picture of him. Bless his little heart for all the photography patience he has with his Mom!

48.365 that smile

Oh, and this one! Look at that face! I'm biased, but what a handsome little boy.

59.365 I think this pretty much speaks for itself.

You know that dating website commercial that says "we laugh every day."? Greg and I really do. "We laugh every day" is a quote at our house that makes us laugh.

71.365 Sweet 16 for Braden!

And, I love this picture of the Herrman boys. Braden has always been so great with Gabe.

I'm looking forward to the next 75 days. In just the little amount of time I feel like I've already learned quite a bit.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

let the sun shine

let the sunshine

I'm probably the only one in the surrounding area that isn't 100% happy about this awesome weather we've had. I'm just keeping it real. It is beautiful!! And, nighttime outside has been so lovely. However, daytime has been really hard on this hypo-thyroider. I know I should feel thankful when I see a beautiful forecast, but all I can seem to think about is how uncomfortable I'm going to be. Sleeping will be hot. Cooking will be hot. Housework and laundry will be hot. Work will be hot - they don't turn the air on until it's like 78 in there.

Last night, I had windows open and fans blowing. I was actually doing ok for me! Our thermostat said it was 76. In the summer time, our thermostat always reads 70. So, for me, I was doing pretty well. My husband went to a friend's house to visit last night, comes home after I'm asleep upstairs, lays on the couch, and turns the air on. WHAT! I woke up and all the windows upstairs were open, the kitchen window is open, and Greg's got the air at 71. He was like, "What? It was freaking hot in here when I got home." Yeah, I freaking know that. Here I am thinking, "Hey, you made it without turning the air on. You won't get made fun of by your husband and family for it feeling like a meat locker in this joint." I'm just a little miffed because we missed Winter. We didn't get much of one. Seasons come and go... I'll get through this one. I'll just be a hot, sweaty mess. :)

To totally change topics, last night we were able to stargaze from our backyard. It was so beautiful outside. The temperature was just right, there was a slight breeze, and the skies were totally clear. We were able to see Mars, Venus, Jupiter, Orion's Belt, and the Big Dipper thanks to Google Sky Maps on Greg's phone. What an amazing app! If you've never stargazed before, download this handy app and try it out. It's so cool. Gabe thought it was pretty sweet too. It's pretty amazing to look up and know that God created all those stars, planets, and galaxies and know that He still knows the number of hairs on our head and He knows each of us by name. I realize the beginning of this post is quite a downer compared to the end. I should be thankful for this beautiful weather - these beautiful days that the Lord has made.

"Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."
-Luke 12:7

"But now, Oh Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. Oh Israel, the one who formed you says, "Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine."
-Isaiah 43:1

"He who made the Pleiades and Orion, who turns blackness into dawn and darkens day into night, who calls for the waters of the sea and pours them out over the face of the land. The Lord is his name.
-Amos 5:8

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The Amazing Star Wars!

Gabers is loving the Star Wars. The amazing Star Wars!! This week, we have watched A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back. Return of the Jedi is on the schedule for tonight. What has really surprised me is how much Gabe understands. When we started A New Hope, I missed the intro notes, so at the beginning of the movie I was pretty lost. Gabe had watched it once with Greg before and was able to tell me all about it.

I had never seen Star Wars... shocking, I know. These movies were really popular when I was growing up. I wasn't sure what to expect. Overall, I liked the movies! I'm not usually a sci-fi, fantasy type of movie person, but this was a classic, so I had to give it a chance. I'm really looking forward to Return of the Jedi tonight.

Last night, while watching The Empire Strikes Back, Gabe learned that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father. I had never seen such a shocked look on his face! "Is that REALLY true??" He was shocked! It's just gonna be one of those moments I never forget. He just couldn't believe the surprise. We thought Darth Vader's face was revealed in this one, so he was bummed that he didn't get to see what Darth really looked like. So, Greg had to YouTube that for him. Gabe thought that was pretty awesome.

I can see why little boys love these movies. Action, light sabers, Yoda, Chewy, etc... And, overall, fine content for a little boy.

And a little something for our Pawpaw:



Monday, March 5, 2012

Little Monday Updates.



Ok, forget Toddlers & Tiaras. Dance Moms is CRAZY!

63.365 New Do

I got my hair completely chopped off! I think I had like 3 inches taken off in the back. I like it... I wish I would've done my makeup in this picture though.

Just a couple of little updates for this Monday morning! Not much else too exciting going on!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

two unrelated topics.

Greg's Indian in the Cupboard Books

Recently, Greg was going through some of his tubs of memorabilia and came across his Indian in the Cupboard books from when he was a kid. Oh, how I loved The Indian in the Cupboard! It was one of my favorite books, along with Bridge to Terabithia. Our early junior high English teacher read books aloud to the classroom and these were two that she chose. I don't know if it was the way she told stories - always with excitement and creative character voices - but these books always stayed with me. And, remember books like Number the Stars? My love for reading started in junior high and I've never turned back. I also remember loving R.L. Stein, Christopher Pike, The Babysitters Club, and Sweet Valley High.

I thought Gabe might take an interest in The Indian in the Cupboard, and was I right! We started with chapter one last night and we are ready to start chapter four. He was captivated! He sat still and listened so intently, only stopping if he had something great to add to the story. "Mom, what if they put MORE guys in the cupboard? Like some more Indians, or cowboys or something?" Oh, buddy... It's gonna get more interesting! Just wait and see! He just loved it. This morning, we read chapters two and three because right when he woke up, he wanted to continue the story. I've tried really hard to do what Mrs. Borchers did and get into character voice and tell the story with great enthusiasm.

We have been reading books to Gabe since he was very young. He loves books. I hope he remembers books when there are all kinds of other distractions like video games, movies, and iPads around. I want him to get lost in books like I still do now. This morning when he came in my room to wake me up, he said, "Mom, did you know there's ANOTHER Indian in the Cupboard book too?" (Return of the Indian in the Cupboard) Yes, I did... and I am looking forward to sharing that one with him too. I'm so glad Greg or Greg's mom had saved these. I might have forgotten all about Omri and the Indian in the Cupboard.

58.365 teeth dreams

On a totally unrelated note, I have been having reoccurring dreams that my teeth are falling out. How weird is that? I've found out that it's a very common reoccurring dream for people! In fact, a girl I know said she dreams about her teeth falling out at least once or twice a week! Crazy! I read here all about what this may mean. Me? Insecure? No way, I don't believe it! :) Yes, I'm pretty insecure. I guess it makes sense. Why these dreams are showing up now, I have no idea. What's really weird about it, is in my dream, I end up spitting my teeth out because so many of them come out at once. Then, when I wake up, I'm spitting and my pillow is wet. Gross. Thanks a lot subconscious. One time, I woke Greg up. This has to be one of the weirdest things I've ever dreamed about. I hope they stop! I'm tired of changing pillowcases. And, I'm tired of 'feeling' my teeth fall out!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

February Favorites

Ok, we need a light-hearted topic! I've had a long day and I thought I'd share some fun with some February Favorites.

Toddlers and Tiaras. Have you seen this? This is what I've been watching on Netflix and it's been blowing my mind. These people are crazy... like nuts crazy. Putting babies in pageants at like 4 months old. Really? Can talent be discovered THAT early? It's one of those mind-numbing shows - you don't have to think about your crazy life or that your kiddo might have freaked out that day... No, you can just watch these kids freak out on TV in front of their Pageant Moms who have spent thousands of dollars on costumes! Yes, I watch it. Don't judge me.


Bossypants. Oh my goodness. I am serious when I say this is laugh out loud funny. She is the kind of person you want to be like or at least have a really cool friend just like her. I know this has been around for a while now, but I'm just now getting to it. And, it was worth the wait... did not disappoint at all.


Anything birch. My grandmother's favorite tree was a beautiful birch tree out at our farm. (People in my family associate special events and people with trees. When we had our family pictures taken, we all had to have one by our favorite trees). If you look at my Pinterest boards, you'll see that I'm kinda in love with anything birch. Unfortunately, I haven't bought anything yet... but I will!

My Lisa Leonard necklace. I wear this every day. I love this necklace - it goes with everything and it is special to me. If I could, I'd probably buy one of everything from her store! One of my goals is to be able to buy each of my sisters and my sisters in law one. I wish her shop would've been around when I got married because right now they have amazing wedding cake toppers! So sweet! I adore this one. Sigh.

And this! I just ordered this necklace for myself from Everyday Keepsakes, except I chose the ball chain and added a pearl charm to it. I'm looking forward to it arriving in the mail! This one wasn't as expensive as the Lisa Leonard one, so I'll probably wear this one more often and save my LL for special occasions.

Wow! This post was really fun, but it took for flippin' ever. I may have to join the bandwagon and do this every month!

Oh, and last but not least, my FAVORITE product for the month of February, Gabe's family Valentine cards! Sorry for the poor scan... I'm not sure why my scanner did that. Oh well, you get the idea, right?

PS: For some reason, Blogger is messing up my paragraph formats. Some paragraphs are coming out centered. Ugh.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Another post about Parenthood.

TEMP
(source)
Any of you that follow my blog know how much I love the show Parenthood. Tonight's episode hit especially close to home. I won't provide any spoilers except to say that I know how hard it is to be an adoptive mom in waiting while you know your child is on the way. You've been matched with a birth mom, but the baby you have already started loving is growing inside someone else. Thankfully, that wait time with Gabe wasn't as long as others, but it was still difficult knowing at any moment, the birth parents could change their minds and decide to parent.

As hard as it is for an adoptive mom, it has to be even harder for a birth mom. I'm not a great decision-maker. I waiver back and forth. I can't imagine making the decision to choose someone else to parent my child. Trusting someone else with my baby, giving up my opportunity for any say in decisions, and still loving that baby with my entire heart would be so hard. So very hard to do.

In our state, at the time Gabe was adopted, birth parents were not allowed to sign adoption papers for 36 hours after the baby's birth. Those days were the hardest for me. Once Gabe was born and I saw him, held him, fed him... there was no turning back. I loved him. Those days were brutal. I didn't know this woman. I'd met her just briefly and I was afraid. I'd waited so long to be a mother, I just feared something would go wrong. But, it didn't. We got to that agency, signed the papers, and brought our baby home.

I know I write a lot about adoption. And, if you're a reader, thank you. I write about this obviously because it is so close to my heart - it is a part of my heart - and I share it because I want the people reading to know that there are some pure truths I know:

Adoption changed my life - I am much more aware that the tiny seed God planted in my heart when I was 17 years old was more than just a passing thought. It was a seed He watered and grew to prepare my heart to love a child as much as any mother could love one.

Adoption has made me a more sensitive human being - It's all about education. A lot of people (before adopting, myself included) have misconceptions about adoption. They ask a lot of tacky (for lack of a better word) questions. It's tough sometimes to answer those questions. We are very careful in the things that we share and we try to very gently explain the answers. Here are some examples:

Q. What's Gabe's Mom like?
A. Well, I love photography. I enjoy scrapbooking with my friends, and I enjoy Facebook, blogging, and Pinterest. I'm the mom to a five year old and I am a part time worker.

Q. So, like, why'd she do it?
A. Well, she did it because it was the best decision for her and for Gabe.

Q. He KNOWS them?
A. Yes, Gabe knows his birth family and he loves them very much. He talks about them a lot and we love having them over." (and of course the next question is, "You have them OVER? Like to your HOUSE?" Ha, that one still gets me. Hello! These people trusted US to love and take care of Gabe... What are they gonna do? Hurt him? Our thoughts? The more people he has in his life that love him, the better off this kid's gonna be.

Q. Aren't you worried they could take him back?
A. No, we're not worried. His adoption is legal. And, try spending a couple weeks in a row with a five year old boy - all day on winter break! If you're not used to it, it can be brutal! Remember the Simpsons? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Ha! Sorry, I had to throw that in there.

Q. So was she like, young or something?
A. No, not really. Just not the best time to have a baby. It all worked out well.

Finally, adoption made me a mom - the perfect way God had in mind. Totally perfect. He knew the birth mom, the boy, and the adoptive mom (as well as all those other wonderful people in the picture) and He put the whole thing together. Any time I doubt my abilities or I feel insecure, I remember that we all came together as a family - and God did that. How do you doubt what you know is true?

It's not for everyone. And, it's not a "cure" for infertility. It's all part of a plan. One of the things I try to share most often is that God gives some women the ability to trust other people to raise their children... He doesn't take the love or the pain away, but He gives them the ability. Then He comes along to other women, like me, and gives them the ability to love a child as their own. A child they would have carried and delivered if they could. He gives them the ability to give unconditional love. And, in our case, He makes families out of regular old Joes whose paths may have never crossed.

Again, thank you Parenthood for portraying an adoption story. It certainly touched my heart tonight.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Winter School

My treasure.

Gabe and I had a great time today. I know I kind of complained about being a stay at home mom yesterday, but today I feel like I really made the most of it. A great friend of mine is considering homeschooling her kids and she shared a link with me that had PIRATE lessons! I've always known that I'm not going to home school. No offense to people who do, I'm just not up for it. I am organized, but I'm not very consistent. In fact, this whole chore chart/earning allowance thing has made me feel quite proud and I've only been working with him on it for like 5 days!

Since I'm still off work, I thought why not peruse the site and see if they had any more nifty lessons I could download and work on with Gabe while we're home together. And, I found some great stuff! Stuff he's interested in: farming, dinosaurs, ice cream, space, etc... The materials fall right in line with the kinds of things he's learning at preschool. Matching capital letters with small letters, following and continuing patterns, and many other 5 year old activities. There are even Bible verses that go along with the lessons (see above).

51.365 No, I'm not homeschooling. :)

You can tell from his face here that he was really loving it. I ended up buying some other materials for $10. I'm looking at it like a winter home school... kind of like summer school! I only wish I would've thought of this kind of activity sooner. It made me so happy/proud in so many ways. I was spending time with my boy. I was finding out how very smart he is. And, I was really using the time to praise and encourage him. I wasn't constantly trying to find something for him to do and he wasn't wanting to watch TV all day. TV has become a tough battle. I try really hard to limit TV time to during breakfast (we have a small under the counter TV that folds down by his breakfast seat) and right before supper while I'm cooking. Then in the evening, we try to play or do an activity together. Although tonight, we had a movie night and watched Fred2... Oh my gammit! That kid has THE most annoying voice on the planet.

I guess I'm feeling like a better, more purposeful Mom today. I was having a hard time with that. I was always feeling like I had to get this and that done and I was always trying to find something for him to do. But, today, I felt like I did it right, ya know? I felt like I made great choices as a mom. I rarely have days where I feel confident about what I'm doing. Especially the first time around. When we have a second child, I probably won't worry as much (I hope) and remember that things work out, kids bump their heads, get rashes, and sometimes have poor appetites. All concerns most first moms worry about. Today, I felt like I did pretty good.

PS: Regarding the treasure picture above, he spelled that out with the Scrabble tiles after studying it a bit with me. We sounded it out and he got it from memory and the sounds the letters make! When we went over the Bible verse together and I tried to explain what heart treasures were, he said his heart treasures were his Mom, his Dad, his Janx, and his WHOOOOOOLE family. Then I said, "What about your Lego guys?" (just to see) and he said, "oh yeah, AND my Lego guys!

Stay at Home Mom

asleep in our bed

We have a little issue with bedtime. We put Gabe to bed in his own room, but when we come upstairs to go to bed, he seems to have found his way into our room. So, every night we move him back to his own bed. If Greg's out of town on a trip, I'll let him sleep with me since I'm a hard sleeper. I'm always afraid I won't hear him if he wakes up or something. Greg was gone the other night and I came upstairs and found him like this! I had to laugh and roll my eyes. He was lying across the entire bed.

It's been nearly 3 months that I have been a stay at home mom due to my seasonal job. I have to say, I'm getting a little stir crazy. I need to work some outside of the home, just to get out a bit - to interact with people, have a little "me" time where I'm not wondering what the heck my child is getting into! Don't get me wrong... the first 3 weeks were great. I was Super Mom... We did something new every day, creative and fun things, and we had a blast! After that first three weeks though, holy cow... creativity was hard to find. I have a kiddo that needs to be busy all the time, or he will find something to do on his own that usually involves orneriness. Example? Pumping all of our foap (foam soap) out into the sink. Or, a Cocoa Pebbles parade (parade meaning throwing things into the air like confetti)...yeah, I taught him what a parade was. Ugh.

I LOVE my son and enjoy him so much. But, lately I feel like all I've been saying is, "Gabe, why would you DO that?" Like when I caught him taking pieces of my wicker hamper apart. Or, "No, you can't chase Jinxi with a sword!" (for my sanity! Trust me - a 5 year old yelling and running with a sword and a dog continuously barking is about enough to make you lose your mind!) So, there's no preschool today and I've gotta find something for us to do.

Reward System

As a way to get Gabe to start helping out with some chores, I made this chore chart. He's done really well with it! The chart is set up for a week. He gets a dime/quarter/whatever loose change we have for every chore he completes on the chart. If he doesn't complete the chore for that day, he gets a little frown face. For every frown face, a dime goes into the frown jar. And, every time he sasses his parents or misbehaves, money from the allowance jar goes into the frown jar. I had to put a dime in the frown jar yesterday because he got mad and stuck his tongue out at me. :) It was very effective though! After his allowance jar is filled with dimes, quarters, etc... he gets to take it to the bank, cash it in, and go to the store that same day. It really seems to be working well! I'm so glad. It seemed like every punishment we set up, he didn't really think was a big deal. And, see the check marks on the chart? How cute are those? Gabe likes to do them all by himself. I got the dry erase idea from Pinterest and I love it. We can use the same chart every week and just erase it clean for the next week.

Monday, February 6, 2012

sharing some thoughts

I don't know if any of you watch Dr. Phil, and I don't even know what day this episode was on (I've been spending the evening catching up on DVR'd episodes after Gabe went to bed), but there was a horrific story on about a young girl who was physically and sexually abused and kept in a closet for six years of her life. Six years. The physical damage done to this child, not to mention the mental and emotional damage, took my breath away and made me sob for her. I could not look away from the television and I could not control the tears coming down my cheeks and the heaviness upon my heart.

This girl was two years old when the closet became her bedroom, lunchroom, and bathroom. She was only taken out to be tortured physically, emotionally, and sexually by her 'mother' and step'father'. This little girl's name was Lauren.

I'm blogging tonight because I don't think I'll be able to sleep. Right now, my son is curled up in our bed, sleeping peacefully. Every night, we put him to bed in his room, come downstairs to watch a little TV or surf Pinterest and it never fails... we come upstairs to go to bed and he's sound asleep right smack dab in the middle of our bed. We move him to his own room and we chuckle about how cute he was. He feels safe here. Hopefully, most children do feel safe in their home. Hopefully most children hear very often what I know my son hears every single day - "I love you".

I'm so struggling with this tonight. There are so many mothers out there - women born to be mothers. God has given them a heart to love and nurture children. He has given them a heart to want to teach their children to make the right choices and to love others and to love God. But, why this, Lord? Why? How can this be part of your master plan?

Lauren was abused so severely that she was found with lice in her hair, her digestive system was impacted with drywall, wood, and plastic from bowls because she was hungry. She was so severely sexually abused that she required major reconstructive surgery. What this child experienced - what her normal became - was so horrific, most of us couldn't even begin to imagine a nightmare like this one. The only time Lauren's tears really began to overwhelm her on the show was when she was told how her mother reacted to the things she had done to her daughter. She acted angry, not guilty. She showed mild concern for her other children, but referred to Lauren as "it". She really had no excuses or any shame.

For most of us who have grown up in a pretty 'normal' home, I think we have a hard enough time getting over our own issues that seem to tie us down. Our parents weren't and aren't perfect, and as a parent neither am I. Someday, Gabe's going to be blaming me for something I'm sure! But, at the end of the day, I always knew I was safe and I always knew my parents loved me. Always. I may have thought decisions were unfair or unreasonable - as any teenager would - but never, ever would I or will I experience what this poor child did. These people weren't parents - they were monsters. Evil, torturing monsters.

So tonight, when I see my child in bed, and while tears roll down my cheeks, I will be praying over him. I will pray that he always knows how much I love him. I will be praying a prayer of thanksgiving that God protected me and many that I love from any terrible experience like this. And, I will be praying for Lauren.

Lauren ended up being adopted by the mother who raised her until she was two years old. She was placed in an adoption situation (they didn't go into much detail... I'm assuming it was foster care until an adoption was finalized) but was returned to her birth mother through the court system. Her adoptive mother desperately tried to fight it, seeing bruises when Lauren returned from visits with her birth mother. Her birth mother won custody and after Lauren was found and treated in the hospital, she returned to live with her adoptive mother. Her real mother, the one who loved her, cared for her, and was so very proud of her was on the stage with her and beamed with pride in how far Lauren had come. It was so good to see that Lauren had a cheerleader and protector from now on.

I am sorry to share a sad story with you, but it was on my heart. It's just one of those things I'll ask the Big Guy when I get there. Why are there people who can have children, multiple children, who could do something like this when there are women out there who weep to have children, who would put themselves through so much physical and emotional pain to have children. Someday, we'll know and we'll see it all clearly. I believe that. It's just tonight, I can't fathom it all making sense.


Kill the Deer!

35.365 Our 1st Kill the Deer We had the greatest time this last weekend. A few months ago, my brother in law, Rene asked if we wanted to join them for the annual Kill the Deer game. (Milwaukee Bucks vs. Chicago Bulls). We were supposed to go last year, had the tickets purchased and everything, but we weren't able to go. Boo..... But this year, we were totally able to go! Gabe stayed with his best friend's family overnight and did great!

The Kill the Deer group Here's part of the group. I wasn't in the picture (I was taking it) and some others weren't there yet. This was a little pre-party before the game. Beer, great music, and great company. My sisters Jenny & Lindsey, along with their husbands, Rene & Matt, and some of their friends were a part of the group. So fun!

Me & my beautiful sisters Here are my two lovely sisters! I'm so blessed to have a very close-knit family. These ladies are the best sisters a girl could ask for.

My first Bulls game - me & my hubby And here's me & my hubby at the game! Rene got us awesome seats too!

One of my favorite little families!
And, this sweet little family! Jenny, Rene, & Anna! I just noticed she is missing one of her boots! Anna is just a little delight! She runs around, squeals, laughs, and loves everyone! She makes my day when she reaches for me to hold her. I love that she remembers me even though we don't see each other often.

Banana! Love her.
Yep, that's my Goddaughter! She's a delight!

After the game, we went out to some of the bars near the arena, including this amazing country bar with a mechanical bull. There are no pictures post game - I didn't feel comfortable with taking my camera out! I did not ride the mechanical bull, but there was one person in our group who did... I will not mention any names... :) The bars were really packed, but we had a blast. After that, we headed to a casino to lose some money. Also, a lot of fun. When we got back to the hotel, we were hungry, but it was near impossible to find something to eat. So, while we waited in our hotel lobby, Greg took a cab and brought back 2 sacks full of McDonalds. We discovered that we are getting a little old, but after a couple beers, you start to feel quite young again! We got to bed around 4:00 am - not used to that at all - and got up around 8:30 to make the trek home.

As an update to the diet, I've been trying. Honestly, it's been extremely, extremely hard. I've not been following strictly, but I'm trying. It's so hard to completely change your way of life. I could make a thousand excuses. I would just ask that if you are a prayer, please keep me in your prayers.

Friday, January 20, 2012

1st official day of life change.

20.365 1st official diet day

I went to the dietician yesterday. I was really expecting to go in there and get the crap scared out of me. Yeah, didn't happen. This dietician was so blah. She talked about diabetes like it wasn't considered a big deal if you had to go on insulin... That some people just have the hereditary factor that gets you to that point. It isn't considered failure if you can't control your diabetes with diet and excercise. Yeah, that'll motivate me!

I did learn some very useful tidbits of information. One being to follow a plate rule like this one:





So, today I ate my lunch like this plate shows. One entire side of my plate was full of green beans! Yum! And, a quarter of the plate had shrimp on it, cooked with a little bit of garlic. Finally, I had three of the above crackers and one small apple. Total carbs for the meal = 31! I came in right under the target of 40.

During the day today has gone very well. Nighttime is where I have the biggest trouble. I'm going to do my best though! We're having chicken tonight (on the grill, even though Greg will be freezing his baguettes off!) and I think we're going to have some broccoli too.

I have journalled all the food I've eaten today. That's a big help in terms of accountability. After dinner, I'm going to go use the treadmill. I'm off to a good start today.

PS: I appreciate the comments the last couple of days. For some reason though, Blogger isn't letting me comment on my own blog. Weird.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Skin Care Review

Current skincare
Just curious... what are your skin care products? I've had a hard time in the past just finding the right combination to go with my skin. I have an extremely dry face... not flaky dry, but redness dry. When I don't have makeup on, my skin is very blotchy and red, especially around my chin. I went to have a facial a few months ago with a giftcard I had because I was concerned that maybe I had Rosacea. The esthetician believed that I just had very dry skin since I didn't appear to have any broken capillaries. She suggested I definitely use a toner without alcohol and a moisturizer that was very hydrating.

It's been tough coming up with a good combination, but I think for me, I might be on the right track. Since I'm working part time right now, I don't feel right about buying the expensive stuff, so I've been working with over the counter Walmart stuff.

The Cetaphil was suggested because its not a harsh cleanser at all - no exfolliants or good smelly fragrance. (man, I miss the smell of Noxema!) Honestly, I feel like I'm hardly cleaning my face with anything but water. But, I think it's getting the job done.

Next, I use the Neutrogena alcohol-free toner. I really like this. It's nice and cool but doesn't sting like our old friend Noxema. You knew you were getting your face clean with that stuff! An old friend of mine once took a cotton ball soaked with Noxema to a door at my Dad's automotive shop - a door that was filthy with grease and grime. Noxema made a spot on that door white as snow. Imagine what it was doing to my face!

At night, I use the Loreal Revitalift or the Ponds depending on how dry my face feels. The Loreal seems to be a nice moisturizer, but aimed towards more average skin. The Ponds definitely moisturizes, but leaves my face feeling greasy. This is where I have the trouble. What moisturizer do you use at night?

I also use the Aveeno Smart Essentials eye roller at night. I just got this product and I really like it. It makes my skin feel tighter around my eyes. It did sting just a tad when I put it on, but it wasn't bad. I can't wait to try this in the morning.

Finally, in the morning, I use the Garnier Moisture Rescue. This is a favorite for me! It's a cool gel and it doesn't leave my face feeling greasy. I like it because I can put it on after I was my face in the morning and then I can put my makeup on right after. It goes great with the Bare Minerals makeup.

So, what are your skincare secrets? Any suggestions? I would love to know of some great products that don't cost an arm an a leg.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

missing college and other news

18.365 missing college
Aren't laundromats the coolest? I had to run into town today to get a couple of groceries and decided to take my camera along. I love this laundromat. One of my goals for this year is to lose some weight. After I lose weight, I want to have a family photo session of the three of us... and I want to have it here! How fun will that be?!

Laundromats always make me think of college. Hauling baskets of laundry from mine and Greg's apartments... doing 2 weeks worth of laundry in one night. We had some great times in the laundromat... we would sit around reading magazines, talking, and goofing around. There are things I miss about college. I miss dating my husband, staying up late (and sleeping in late), no real responsibility, etc... But, those days are gone and on to better days!

Recently, I had a bloodwork panel done to check my thyroid levels. For several years, I've been battling hypothyroidism. My thyroid is so low-functioning that I take medication at a level that is as if I don't even have a thyroid gland. Its a very frustrating disease because it affects so many different things: fertility, memory, body temperature, the heart, etc... Along with my thyroid levels being checked, my A1C was also checked along with cholesterol and my Vitamin D level. My A1C was high and my Vitamin D level was extremely low.

Diabetes runs in my family on both sides. I'm pretty much doomed. Right now, I am considered a type II diabetic. Those were really hard words to hear.

I made an appointment with a nutritionist for tomorrow. I'm really scared. I need to change my eating habits. They aren't horrible... I mean, it's not like I sit around all day with a Snickers in one hand and a cheeseburger in the other hand. But, I grew up eating meat and potatoes and a sugary snack after school and at night. I still live that way. I know it's wrong. Any time I've tried to change things, I get so confused... this food is right to eat, this one is wrong. Then the next month, the right one is the wrong one and vice versa. So, tomorrow, I'm going to the nutritionist, telling her about my levels, and hopefully getting answers to a lot of questions about how to live better. Basically, I don't want to end up on insulin, worried about my eyesight or losing a limb.

I wasn't sure if I should blog about this. And, even now, typing it I'm not sure I want to post it. I mean, if I post this, there is accountability that I take action. That scares me. It'd be so much easier to just stay the way I am. So, I'm posting this, hoping for no judgement but for support instead. I'm asking that you, friends, believe in me that I can change. I really want to. And, I really don't think I have a choice.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Gabe is 5 years old!

My birthday boy. We had Gabe's 5th birthday party on Saturday. We had a lot of family come over and we had a great time! Since he was turning five, I wanted to make this birthday extra special. I put a lot of planning into it and had a blast doing all the preparations.

Decorations
A couple of weeks before the party, I ordered the Life's a Party Cricut cartridge so I could make decorations. The treasure map and treasure chest were a couple of my favorites. I also made skulls and crossbones. At Halloween, Gabe was a pirate. My sister was having Anna's pictures taken at Portrait Innovations, so I decided to take Gabe in his costume for some studio pictures. I'm so glad I did! He loves pirates and I'm glad I'll always have these!

The cake mom made. Here's the birthday cake I made. I found out how to make a stacked cake on Pinterest and then I did my best with tools I had here to frost it. I wish it would've turned out smoother, but it did taste really great! And, it beats paying $50+ for a cute custom cake. I got the pirate candle on clearance at Hobby Lobby (yes!) and I made the little cake toppers with the Cricut machine. Behind the cake are letters that spell "ARGH". I bought the letters at Hobby Lobby and decoupaged scrapbooking paper on the front of them. There's also a little skull that I bought at Halloween.

The loot I really loved how this looked! I got the little Ikea stones at a local thrift store as well as the treasure bowl. Always check out your thrift stores for cheap idea decor!! I had the 'jewels' and pirates' gold left over from Gabe's Christmas treasure chest.

Pirate's Spirits These were so fun too! I found the paper straws at Crate & Barrel on clearance. The skeleton straws came from the Dollar Store at Halloween. I had a couple of bread crumb containers that I covered in scrapbooking paper and put a couple of stickers on to decorate them to hold the straws. I made the little food description cards on the Cricut and put them next to the food items.

Individual dips These individual 7 layer dips were a big hit! I found the recipe on Pinterest and went with it! They were super easy and they look great too.

Cupcake toppers Greg made these cupcake stands for me. We went to the dollar store and found some plates and glasses, turned the glasses upside down, epoxied the plates to the glass base, and then spray painted them a pirate red. I love how they turned out! And, I can keep them to use at Christmastime too. I made the little cupcake toppers (the treasure chests and the skull and crossbones) on the Cricut. I bought the 'G' ones at Hobby Lobby on clearance.

16.365 Probably one of the cutest presents ever! This was my 365 picture for today... I love, love, love this umbrella from Abba Herrman! How sweet is this? Gabe got some great gifts... Lego sets he didn't have (that was a miracle!!) and a lot of really sharp clothes. He's gonna be a little studmuffin!

One pooped out pirate. Little Dougie fell asleep on Aunt Lindsey... how sweet! The little bugger was so tired! He's so sweet too... he was all smiley. What a little joy! I get to babysit him Jan 29th and I'm excited to have some baby time!

Annual pic in front of the cake and decorations. Happy 5th birthday, my sweet little pirate. Your mom and dad love you more than anything in this entire world. 5 years ago, we brought you home and you changed our lives only for the better. You have made us a family. I know I went a little overboard on this birthday, but I wanted it to be so very special for you. I know you're starting to make memories... This Christmas was very special and so was this birthday. Dad and I want you to look back on days like these and not remember the presents, the decorations, or the other trappings, but to remember how many people love you and how your parents wanted you to feel special on your day. We love you, Gabe Douglas.