May the odds be ever in your favor.

It's very rare that a book or series of books with captivate me so much that I am unable to put them down. Reading The Hunger Games was totally captivating. I have to say, the first book had me nail biting and shivering for the characters. I read the book in two or three days and during that time, I didn't get to bed before 1:00 am. I paid attention to so many of the details and really tried to make the book last.

After I finished the first book, we were in a large town nearby and I wanted to buy the 2nd and 3rd book at Walmart. Walmart online had the books for nearly $3.00 cheaper (per book) if you delivered them to the store to pick them up. So, we thought we would ask if they would just honor the price difference. I mean really, do you think the big Walmart in the sky is going to ship 2 books to the Walmart store and have them there and ready for me? Or do you think some Walmart employee was going to just go grab the two books off the shelf and set them aside for me. I think the latter is probably what would happen! Well, they wouldn't honor the prices... grr...

So, based on principle, we didn't buy the books that night. The next day, I decided I couldn't wait to have them shipped from somewhere and I'd just go to a nearby smaller town with a Walmart there and pay the ugly Walmart creature it's money. But, to my surprise, they DID NOT have books 2 and 3. WHAT? C'mon! This is only the most popular series out now! So, fed up with Walmart, I finally went to Kmart... knowing I'd pay more but now absolutely against feeding the Walmart creature any of my money.

I got the books, paid $3.00 more for them than the online Walmart price and was happy that I finally had my hands on them.

If you haven't had a chance to read this series, add it to your Goodreads! If you're not familiar with Goodreads, it's a website where you can create a series of bookshelves of books you'd like to read, books you've read, and books you are reading. I'm sure you can create more shelves, but I'm set up pretty basic right now. You can also add friends to your Goodreads. You can take a look at what books they are reading and and them to your shelves. Another benefit to Goodreads is they can recommend books for you based on what you've read and liked. Then, I request them from my local library through inter-library loan. I start that process while I'm still reading another book to give my library time to get my requested book. I also like the site because the books have been rated by other readers.

So, I'll be back in Panem once again, looking forward to another round of The Hunger Games. Effie, Haymitch, Peeta, Katniss, Gale, all my favorite characters. I know things will turn out the same, but maybe I'll catch some details that were overlooked the first time. Oh, I should point out something funny too... A few weeks ago, I borrowed Tina Fey's book from a friend. Unbeknownst to me, my son took my booklight, stirred it into some Vicks Vaporub, and smeared it on the back of her book. She very sweetly declined a new copy of the book and just put the jacket back on it. A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine borrowed the first Hunger Games book. While she was reading it, she (or one of her kids) got a lot of butter on it! HA! When she returned my book, she presented my babysitter with a new copy of the book (which I would've declined if I was there!) How funny!! We moms try to save a little money by borrowing books and then our kids make us end up buying them anyway! PS: Thanks, Kimberly for being so gracious!

where have I been?

Life has been busy and my second job hasn't even started back up yet. I swear by the time Gabe goes to bed at night, I'm wiped. All I want to do is catch up on my 'programs' and play a little Words with Friends. Wiped.



Tonight we had an awesome dinner. Chipotle-esque carnita soft tacos, complete with the cilantro lime rice. It was fantastic! Greg loved them too.



Another wonderful thing that has been taking up my time has been The Hunger Games. Fantastic books. Fantastic. The first book was addicting... I couldn't stop reading it. The second book was good, and the third book started out slow but got very interesting about halfway through. Now that the series is over, I'm feeling a little bit lost. If you haven't read them, do it!!



Ahhh, yes, and this. (He's not pouting, I just made him bend his head down to show off his new 'do'). Gabe decided that he was going to become a hairstylist, I guess. I actually didn't freak out about this... I laughed. I had to hold the laughter back while I was in front of him. Obviously, we had to have a talk about the dangers of scissors and how you can only use them with an adult. But, inside I was just cracking up.

I started a new job a couple of weeks ago. I'm doing some internet-based plat mapping/proofing for an insurance agency in a nearby town. I really like it. I can't believe how much my work for my other job (with a farm chemical application business) helped to prepare me for this job. Both jobs really kind of fell into place... Scheduling and everything. Basically, I'll be working 40 hours a week during the chemical applicator's busy season (April through June/July and Oct & Nov) and the rest of the time, I'll be working fewer hours... depending on the insurance agency's needs. So, for a few months of the year, I'll be pretty busy.

I have to be honest... I don't know how working moms work 40+ hours a week. How they get all the laundry, dishes, dusting, vacuuming, etc... done? Then, add on the guilt. I always feel guilty, even when I'm working part time that I don't get Gabe to the park often enough, or he isn't outside much of the time. How does it happen??? When do these moms get their other work done? I mean, if they spend most of their day outside with their kids, how do they clean, do laundry, and put a hot meal on the table at the end of the day? I need to somehow find a balance.

It's reallllly easy to slip into the Mom Insecurity Zone. Do any of you fall into that? If so, how do you cope with it? Thankfully, my husband plays a lot with Gabe outside while I'm trying to get dinner ready. While I'm full time, there are gonna be a lot of crockpot meals. I guess I just gotta do the best that I can, and try not to feel guilty that I'm not doing enough.

I recently went to a mom's seminar in which they discussed 'true guilt' vs. 'false guilt'. True guilt is when you've done something to violate God's law or man's law - something you can repent for and try to mend either with God or man. False guilt is just the opposite. It's stuff you worry about that hasn't happened, or you haven't offended, and isn't supported by either of those requirements. I've been trying to let a lot of the false guilt go. I know I'm loving my child, working hard for my family, and honoring my husband. I'm doing my best to be a good friend, a good daughter, and a good sibling. Sure, I make mistakes every day and I do pray about those things. I ask God for help in being a good mother. I guess that is all I can do.

So, if you're a mom with false guilt, let it go. If you have true guilt, do what you can do (what God has asked us to do) to mend it. And, holy cow... it's tough for all of us, so let's be real! (Nothing irks me more than the moms with the perfect life, perfect balance, perfect kids.) C'mon, one of her kids had to have clogged her toilet with a decorative ball at least once, right? Not that it's happened to me... (Ok, so it happened at my parent's house, but it was still my kid).

Little Monday Updates.

Ok, forget Toddlers & Tiaras. Dance Moms is CRAZY!



I got my hair completely chopped off! I think I had like 3 inches taken off in the back. I like it... I wish I would've done my makeup in this picture though.

Just a couple of little updates for this Monday morning! Not much else too exciting going on!

February Favorites

Ok, we need a light-hearted topic! I've had a long day and I thought I'd share some fun with some February Favorites.

Toddlers and Tiaras. Have you seen this? This is what I've been watching on Netflix and it's been blowing my mind. These people are crazy... like nuts crazy. Putting babies in pageants at like 4 months old. Really? Can talent be discovered THAT early? It's one of those mind-numbing shows - you don't have to think about your crazy life or that your kiddo might have freaked out that day... No, you can just watch these kids freak out on TV in front of their Pageant Moms who have spent thousands of dollars on costumes! Yes, I watch it. Don't judge me.

Bossypants. Oh my goodness. I am serious when I say this is laugh out loud funny. She is the kind of person you want to be like or at least have a really cool friend just like her. I know this has been around for a while now, but I'm just now getting to it. And, it was worth the wait... did not disappoint at all.

Anything birch. My grandmother's favorite tree was a beautiful birch tree out at our farm. (People in my family associate special events and people with trees. When we had our family pictures taken, we all had to have one by our favorite trees). If you look at my Pinterest boards, you'll see that I'm kinda in love with anything birch. Unfortunately, I haven't bought anything yet... but I will!

My Lisa Leonard necklace. I wear this every day. I love this necklace - it goes with everything and it is special to me. If I could, I'd probably buy one of everything from her store! One of my goals is to be able to buy each of my sisters and my sisters in law one. I wish her shop would've been around when I got married because right now they have amazing wedding cake toppers! So sweet! I adore this one. Sigh.

And this! I just ordered this necklace for myself from Everyday Keepsakes, except I chose the ball chain and added a pearl charm to it. I'm looking forward to it arriving in the mail! This one wasn't as expensive as the Lisa Leonard one, so I'll probably wear this one more often and save my LL for special occasions.

Wow! This post was really fun, but it took for flippin' ever. I may have to join the bandwagon and do this every month!

Oh, and last but not least, my FAVORITE product for the month of February, Gabe's family Valentine cards! Sorry for the poor scan... I'm not sure why my scanner did that. Oh well, you get the idea, right?

PS: For some reason, Blogger is messing up my paragraph formats. Some paragraphs are coming out centered. Ugh.

Another post about Parenthood.

(source)

Any of you that follow my blog know how much I love the show Parenthood. Tonight's episode hit especially close to home. I won't provide any spoilers except to say that I know how hard it is to be an adoptive mom in waiting while you know your child is on the way. You've been matched with a birth mom, but the baby you have already started loving is growing inside someone else. Thankfully, that wait time with Gabe wasn't as long as others, but it was still difficult knowing at any moment, the birth parents could change their minds and decide to parent.

As hard as it is for an adoptive mom, it has to be even harder for a birth mom. I'm not a great decision-maker. I waiver back and forth. I can't imagine making the decision to choose someone else to parent my child. Trusting someone else with my baby, giving up my opportunity for any say in decisions, and still loving that baby with my entire heart would be so hard. So very hard to do.

In our state, at the time Gabe was adopted, birth parents were not allowed to sign adoption papers for 36 hours after the baby's birth. Those days were the hardest for me. Once Gabe was born and I saw him, held him, fed him... there was no turning back. I loved him. Those days were brutal. I didn't know this woman. I'd met her just briefly and I was afraid. I'd waited so long to be a mother, I just feared something would go wrong. But, it didn't. We got to that agency, signed the papers, and brought our baby home.

I know I write a lot about adoption. And, if you're a reader, thank you. I write about this obviously because it is so close to my heart - it is a part of my heart - and I share it because I want the people reading to know that there are some pure truths I know:

Adoption changed my life - I am much more aware that the tiny seed God planted in my heart when I was 17 years old was more than just a passing thought. It was a seed He watered and grew to prepare my heart to love a child as much as any mother could love one.

Adoption has made me a more sensitive human being - It's all about education. A lot of people (before adopting, myself included) have misconceptions about adoption. They ask a lot of tacky (for lack of a better word) questions. It's tough sometimes to answer those questions. We are very careful in the things that we share and we try to very gently explain the answers. Here are some examples:

Q. What's Gabe's Mom like?

A. Well, I love photography. I enjoy scrapbooking with my friends, and I enjoy Facebook, blogging, and Pinterest. I'm the mom to a five year old and I am a part time worker.

Q. So, like, why'd she do it?

A. Well, she did it because it was the best decision for her and for Gabe.

Q. He KNOWS them?

A. Yes, Gabe knows his birth family and he loves them very much. He talks about them a lot and we love having them over." (and of course the next question is, "You have them OVER? Like to your HOUSE?" Ha, that one still gets me. Hello! These people trusted US to love and take care of Gabe... What are they gonna do? Hurt him? Our thoughts? The more people he has in his life that love him, the better off this kid's gonna be.

Q. Aren't you worried they could take him back?

A. No, we're not worried. His adoption is legal. And, try spending a couple weeks in a row with a five year old boy - all day on winter break! If you're not used to it, it can be brutal! Remember the Simpsons? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Ha! Sorry, I had to throw that in there.

Q. So was she like, young or something?

A. No, not really. Just not the best time to have a baby. It all worked out well.

Finally, adoption made me a mom - the perfect way God had in mind. Totally perfect. He knew the birth mom, the boy, and the adoptive mom (as well as all those other wonderful people in the picture) and He put the whole thing together. Any time I doubt my abilities or I feel insecure, I remember that we all came together as a family - and God did that. How do you doubt what you know is true?

It's not for everyone. And, it's not a "cure" for infertility. It's all part of a plan. One of the things I try to share most often is that God gives some women the ability to trust other people to raise their children... He doesn't take the love or the pain away, but He gives them the ability. Then He comes along to other women, like me, and gives them the ability to love a child as their own. A child they would have carried and delivered if they could. He gives them the ability to give unconditional love. And, in our case, He makes families out of regular old Joes whose paths may have never crossed.

Again, thank you Parenthood for portraying an adoption story. It certainly touched my heart tonight.

missing college and other news

Aren't laundromats the coolest? I had to run into town today to get a couple of groceries and decided to take my camera along. I love this laundromat. One of my goals for this year is to lose some weight. After I lose weight, I want to have a family photo session of the three of us... and I want to have it here! How fun will that be?!

Laundromats always make me think of college. Hauling baskets of laundry from mine and Greg's apartments... doing 2 weeks worth of laundry in one night. We had some great times in the laundromat... we would sit around reading magazines, talking, and goofing around. There are things I miss about college. I miss dating my husband, staying up late (and sleeping in late), no real responsibility, etc... But, those days are gone and on to better days!

Recently, I had a bloodwork panel done to check my thyroid levels. For several years, I've been battling hypothyroidism. My thyroid is so low-functioning that I take medication at a level that is as if I don't even have a thyroid gland. Its a very frustrating disease because it affects so many different things: fertility, memory, body temperature, the heart, etc... Along with my thyroid levels being checked, my A1C was also checked along with cholesterol and my Vitamin D level. My A1C was high and my Vitamin D level was extremely low.

Diabetes runs in my family on both sides. I'm pretty much doomed. Right now, I am considered a type II diabetic. Those were really hard words to hear.

I made an appointment with a nutritionist for tomorrow. I'm really scared. I need to change my eating habits. They aren't horrible... I mean, it's not like I sit around all day with a Snickers in one hand and a cheeseburger in the other hand. But, I grew up eating meat and potatoes and a sugary snack after school and at night. I still live that way. I know it's wrong. Any time I've tried to change things, I get so confused... this food is right to eat, this one is wrong. Then the next month, the right one is the wrong one and vice versa. So, tomorrow, I'm going to the nutritionist, telling her about my levels, and hopefully getting answers to a lot of questions about how to live better. Basically, I don't want to end up on insulin, worried about my eyesight or losing a limb.

I wasn't sure if I should blog about this. And, even now, typing it I'm not sure I want to post it. I mean, if I post this, there is accountability that I take action. That scares me. It'd be so much easier to just stay the way I am. So, I'm posting this, hoping for no judgement but for support instead. I'm asking that you, friends, believe in me that I can change. I really want to. And, I really don't think I have a choice.

Coming around...

I have been wanting to do a Christmas post for a few days, but I have been (and still kind of am) under the weather. It started a few days ago. I decided to make lasagna for dinner because starting tomorrow, Greg and I are dieting hard core. *New Year's resolution cliche, I know* But anyway, so I made this awesome dinner. I get ready to serve it and I am so incredibly nauseous. I was so ticked too. I had been looking forward to this dinner because I don't make it very often and to having a good carb meal before going all healthy. I couldn't do it. I nibbled two bites down, and went for the couch. By 7:00, the puke marathon began. Every hour until the next morning. (sorry to be so graphic!)

I hadn't been sick like this since college... or as Ted Mosby would say "Puke free since '93" (or 2000 in my case). It was horrible. The whole next day, my back hurt so bad but I couldn't get out of bed. I had the craziest reoccuring dreams too... they were so vivid. Then yesterday, NYE, I was dizzy all day. Mom and Dad kept Gabe overnight so we could have dinner. We ended up buying expensive steaks and desserts from The Fresh Market, and suddenly, my appetite was back! We also had a How I Met Your Mother marathon. Very low key, but a wonderful night with my husband. Now, today, the nausea has come back. I don't get it. Weirdest flu ever.

Also, I must mention... I have the greatest husband. He has really taken over parenting while I've been under the weather. Thank you to my Marshmallow. xoxo Your Lilypad. :)

Greg, this is for you...

I have really been wanting to do a Christmas post and talk about how wonderful everything was... how it was a great Christmas Eve at the Herrmans, spent with my amazing in laws and my neices and nephews. And, how I got to see little Dougie on his first Christmas and spend some time with Anna Banana. I'm afraid I'm just gonna have to do that post a little later.

Gabe's had a blast playing with all of his new toys and has even chosen some of his old toys to donate. He's really good about letting go of things he doesn't play with anymore.

In other news, I am going to try to do a 365 project this year - a photo a day. The above is my day one photo... I just realized that's a mega-ginormous picture of me... yeah, sorry about that. I hope by this time next year I will have taken 365 pictures and lost quite a few pounds. That's a goal... Here's hoping I can make it happen.

Happy New Year everyone!

thank you, parenthood.

If you follow me on Facebook, you'll know that I'm a huge fan of the show Parenthood. And, lately, I have been very happy with their choice to cover the topic of adoption. Adoption will obviously always be a very close subject to my heart. When chosen as a topic on a series on TV, I am always a little bit skeptical that the show will be able to pull it off. I am always expecting to be disappointed with a dumb, cheesy line or an uneducated portrayal of a birth mom or an adoptive mom.

Parenthood, however, has been doing an excellent job portraying the life of an adoptive mom, or at least an adoptive mom like me. I can see myself as Julia, wanting a child - wanting to add to her family. I could see myself when she found out about being infertile. (that episode was a real waterworks one for me... it about killed me!) I can also see her approaching her husband, telling him of this crazy idea, and then watching him fall in love with the idea as much as she has.

It showed Julia and her husband, Joel as they spoke with her parents about the idea. Her parents worried, brought up valid concerns like money and personal space.

I have just been so pleased with how they have presented this show to the viewers. The situation wasn't hokey and melodramatic... Julia wasn't a crazy, infertile lady who would pay thousands of dollars (even though she could afford it and had the opportunity to) to have a child... as much as she so badly wanted to have this baby in her family.

I hope they go all the way with it and show us viewers an open adoption. You really don't see it much on TV... It's not the popular choice out there. But, people need to be educated! It can be such an amazing gift! I am so unbelievably blessed to know members of Gabe's birth family. And, most importantly, so is he! I do not doubt for a moment that when God placed that boy in my arms, he had the entire plot laid out. I do not doubt that he brought all of us together to love this one very special child. Don't get me wrong, those first few visits were scary. I remember thinking they would've regretted choosing us. There are still times I joke about that with them. But I can honestly say, it has all worked out so well. I asked God to fulfill my hearts desire, and He did - bigger and better than I ever could have imagined.

So, thank you, Parenthood! Thank you for making others aware of adoption and what a gift it can be. Thank you for showing us a strong woman who desperately wants a child but remains wise to keep her family safe. Thank you for showing a birth mother who truly wants better for her child and is having trouble with that decision. This program has shown that it has not been easy for her. That is one of the biggest misconceptions... that these birth moms are just able to disregard their children. Not true. I have met many birth moms, watched many interviews, and read books regarding birth families... Their children are on their mind every day. THEY are taking the risk, placing their child's life in another woman's arms. WE didn't take the risk when we chose open adoption... She did. She trusted me with her son. And, I think about that all the time.

Parenthood is an awesome show - it's on Tuesday nights at 9:00 CST. Check it out!

In other news, I am watching my first episode of How I Met Your Mother... Starting at Season 1, Episode 1. And, I am hooked. I love you NPH! Oh, and Jason Segel? Probably one of my biggest crushes!

Homemade Chutney

Ok, I'm a little proud of myself on this one... I made my own chutney for Thanksgiving! Actually, the recipe was really easy! I'm hosting Thanksgiving this year and since I'll be working up until the day of, I thought I'd get this done, freeze it, and then thaw it the day before. Once less thing I have to worry about making the day of the meal. Defrost and warm in the microwave and we'll be good to go. The recipe even says its ok to freeze.

The aroma in my house was awesome! And, it tasted fantastic. I will definitely be making this every year I host. When I tried it, I could definitely imagine it with the turkey!

Today, we also picked up our organic turkey from the locker. Gabe has decided that he will affectionately call him "Nick". I also got the menu planned, as well as the dreaded trip to Walmart. I love cooking for Thanksgiving, but honestly this year I'm a little worried about pulling it off. Thankfully, our family will be here and none of them are picky or particular. They are all so laid back. They'll all grab an apron and help me through it!

I'm really thankful that my family and Greg's family can share Thanksgiving together. Not all families can do that. It sure makes our holidays so much easier and so special.

This time last year...

I found out that my job of 7 1/2 years would be ending due to my inability to go full time. I can't believe it's been a year since then... It seems like that happened so long ago. When that place comes to mind, I realize that I haven't let go of a lot of anger that I'm holding onto, so thankfully, I don't think about it that much.

I can't believe my life now! I am a "farmer" - I always like to tell my friend Grant this, to which he very calmly and sternly says, "You're not a farmer." As in, no more discussion on the matter. No, I'm not a farmer, but my life has certainly begun to revolve around farming. I am loving it. I love talking to the farmers when they come in, I really like the people I work with, and the organization is great. I really love seeing the setting of our community in a totally different light. I appreciate so much more how smart the farmers are, how each and every one have their own way of doing things, and how the community works together. I like how the job is part time full time, meaning I have a lot of work at one time, and then I have breaks of time where I can just be with my family.

Being involved in the community has become my favorite part of the job. I like knowing the farmers by name, stopping in at the bank or post office, and seeing a lot of people every day. I am committed to giving 110% to help these guys succeed. Learning a new job has also come with some difficulty for sure. I grew up on a farm and my dad was a farmer, but he didn't really ever talk much about his business. I think maybe he thought I wasn't interested. So, I have definitely had a lot to learn. Some days, I feel completely useless! But, other days things just seem to flow nicely.

Leaving Kahuna was a huge change for me... One I was really afraid of. However, I can look back and say I am grateful for everything I learned there and I am very thankful for where I am now. I hope to be doing this for a long time. I'm a farmer! :)

Off work & working

Today, I'm off work due to the rain we got this weekend. So, I thought it'd be a great day for me and Gabe to work on Christmas decorations. I know, I know, it's a little early. However, we're hosting Thanksgiving this year and I thought it'd be really nice to have the house all festive and bright. I love Christmas. I love how cozy my traditional-style house feels. I love the twinkling lights and I love the colors of red and green, silver and gold. I realize people like me get a lot of eye rolls, but it's a wonderful season and I want to enjoy it as long as I can!

Gabe and I have stayed in our jam-jams today and I have worked on dusting, moving furniture, and laundry so I can hopefully have the house nice and neat when Greg gets home. I love days off in the middle of working full time because you really appreciate all those hours during the day and really make the most of them! I feel like I'm jamming as much as possible into one day today.

Gabe really loved decorating his tree too. He did a great job! Love the pj's on the kiddo by the way... He looks so cute in his new Old Navy jam jams.

I just got these trees when I went shopping with my friends. I love them! Home Goods is an awesome store! I wish we had one closer to us.

These little cardinals have become one of my favorite Christmas decorations. I got them last year on clearance at Hobby Lobby after Christmas. The silver containers in the center were given to me by my brother.

I'm really sad this year because I can't put up my Christmas village. I have a beautiful Dept 56 village and we just don't have any large, flat space to put it up. It's probably a good year to skip it any way. I have a small Halloween/Fall village of just 3 houses that I put on a table in the hall. Gabe thinks its for his guys to play and hide in. I got that set several years ago at Kmart on clearance. I'm glad I tested that out with him this year instead of putting up my expensive village. I can just see Batman running through the snowy streets and it makes me cringe just thinking about it! Between now and next year, Greg and I are going to have to come up with some way to display it. I definitely don't want it just stored in my Christmas closet.

I definitely do not ignore Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving. So, here are a few things I am thankful for this holiday season:

1. My family - I am blessed beyond measure with a wonderful husband and son, an amazing extended family, and probably the best in laws a girl could ask for.


2. My friends - I truly love my friends. I feel like the luckiest in the friendship department. What a treasure to be able to completely be yourself without fear of rejection or judgement.


3. My home - the safety and comfort of a warm house, good food, and people to share it with.


4. My work - it's been a good harvest and a beautiful fall.


5. My salvation - Most importantly, I have been saved from my sin. I'm so thankful for the birth of a Savior, born in a manger.

Happy Thanksgiving and holiday season to you and yours!

Kinda fired up.

Ok, so I had this entire post written about why I haven't been blogging (it has been intentional) and how I'm t-o'd at the photog world right now and I deleted it all. I figured the first post in a long time shouldn't be about how I'm fired up.

To sum it up, it just seems like there's a lot of negativity out there for beginner photographers. I get so frustrated by it. I was really new once. I still consider inexperienced compared to many, but now, I consider myself more than "just a mom with a cute kid and a fancy camera" (as was said about me once). Seriously. The hurtfulness! Why?

My point of tonight's blog is this... If you are new at something, do everything you can to flourish it. Enjoy it. Do not be discouraged by others. If you have an eye for it and creative ideas, you can learn the technical part. And, remember that beauty is in the eye of the camera-holder... your pictures are beautiful because YOU took them and you captured a moment that was meaningful to you. Who cares if they're grainy or they have a little blur, if you see beauty there, there's something special there.

Granted, you're probably not going to be pulling in the dough with grainy, blurry pictures. But, that doesn't mean that you aren't an artist, finding something special and beautiful that needs to be seen and shared. So, keep on clicking!! Some of the most-commented pictures I've seen on Flickr aren't really taken of anything spectacular... they are from ordinary, day to day scenes, seen in a new, special way. And, a lot of them are grainy or blurry. Go figure...

A Sweet Partnership.

My Mara Bracelet - In Remembrance of Kary

I've mentioned the organization Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (NILMDTS) before... It's such a wonderful gift to families who have lost a baby. As a photographer and a mother, I am so honored to be a part of it. The families I have met have all touched me so deeply and have all made an impact on my life.

One of my friends from high school lost a sweet little girl named, Mara. After Mara passed away, we got in touch again. We talked about Mara, our other children, and our lives and how they have changed since losing a child. Her mission is to make these beautiful bracelets for other people who have lost children. They are such a nice remembrance gift. She and I were talking one day and I told her I'd be glad to photograph the bracelets so she could share them with others. Something very special came from that...

A renewed friendship, and the gift she has given of making bracelets for all the NILMDTS families I work with. This weekend alone, I was contacted about two sessions. When I get a phone call from the hospital, the rest of my world stops and I am focused on getting there. I pack my bag, print off a consent form, grab my brochure and camera, and I go.

It is a comfort to me to know that I can send a small token of love to the mothers of these children when I send a Mara bracelet. I know it is made with love, and I know Mara is thought of each time a bracelet is made and sent out with the cd of images.

It's amazing what can form from loss. God can use it. He does use it - every time. We live in a fallen, sad world, where loss is allowed to happen. The miracle in loss is that God uses it to change us. We will never be the same after our world comes crashing down. I never thought I'd be in this place... I never thought this is something I could do. But, with experiences like those I've had, with friends who give, I have been changed and blessed. Thank you baby T, baby E, baby A, baby J, baby K, and of course, Kary & Mara. Your lives will always be a gift to those who love you.

Picture Organization

I finally got a project done tonight that I've been wanting to do for some time. I went through all of my thousands of pictures and organized them into a system that I think will work for me. My main objective was to organize them not by date, but by category. I am terrible with dates. So, categories (seniors, families, newborns, etc...) work much better for me. Within those categories, I have subfolders by session. It's been a marathon, but thankfully it only took me one evening! I've made it through this tedious task by watching old episodes of Dexter. Creepy show, but entertaining in only a way a Showtime series can be!

While sorting pictures, I came across this oldie, but goodie, of me and my Momma. I love this picture. You can see the love between us. I've been very blessed to have such a wonderful Mom. She truly did everything she could do to raise a good family. She put her own desires aside so many times, just so we could have better. I love my Mom... Thank you, Momma, for teaching me so much about being a parent, for being real with me, for loving me always, and for listening when I really need to just talk. I know I can be myself and you won't judge me. Thank you.

Slowing down... for a minute.

Alright, alright... My blog's not broken. My husband always says, "I think there's something wrong with your blog..." Life has been crazy. My house is a mess, I have folders of pictures waiting to be edited and digitally scrapped, I don't get much time with my son, and I have about 8 thousand craft projects I want to do. Besides that, there are dishes in the sink, my bathroom desperately needs cleaned, and we need new sheets on the beds.

Life, please slow down a bit!

Since I last blogged, our family has grown by 2 feet...


Little Douglas Gregory was born April 30, at 6:40 pm. He weighed 7 lbs, 14 oz, and was 20 inches long. He is about the sweetest thing ever made! My brother and his wife, Sonya are excellent parents and love their little Dougie so much, as do we!

I've been taking a lot of pictures. This one of Dougie was a big accomplishment for me! He's such a sweet little guy! I have really enjoyed taking his newborn pictures. Newborn sessions are a favorite for me.

I've also been taking some pictures of this sweet boy. My Gabers is growing up so fast. I can't believe he's 4 years old. His behavior has greatly improved as far as the tantrums go. We've found that a quarter reward system seems to work really well. At the beginning of each week, he starts out with $5.00 in quarters. When he misbehaves, quarter(s) are taken away. When he behaves really well, or does something really great, he's rewarded with quarters. It seems to be working out really well.

I've also been taking pictures of other people's kids! This cutie pie would not leave his tongue in his mouth throughout the entire session! It was hilarious!

Oh life, you're moving so fast! Slow down just a bit so I can catch up!

nearing the end

I've found a couple of things that have really been helping with Gabe's temper tantrum issues. And, they've REALLY been helping. It's amazing how much easier it is to deal with a tantrum when I look at my own behavior during one. I realized I needed to change some things. Rather than getting visibly frustrated, I've really learned to keep my cool and not worry about correcting him in front of others. I've let him calmly and firmly know what is not appropriate. If he continues the behavior, it's out of sight for Gabe. He either needs to go to his room, or be removed from the activity and we'll go into another room and wait for him to calm down. Since I've blogged (granted I was gone over night Saturday) he's done so much better! And, we had an absolutely great day today at the park.

March 30th will be my last day at work. I'm sad to be leaving something I know, but I'm looking forward to what God has in store for me. I am feeling pretty aimless. I have no idea of what I want to be when I grow up! I am still looking for a part time job... hopefully something great will come along!

just stay...

I'm probably one of the weirdest people in that I'd like Winter to stay. Yes, just stay. Winter, you can stay for a while. I'm not ready for Spring.

This time of year is always really hard on me. I know Spring is about everything that's new and green, and don't get me wrong, it's beautiful. But, it's a killer on my thyroid. Cold sweats pretty much on a daily basis. My body can't regulate the in between temperature. 55 degrees is kind of a bad temperature for me... my body just doesn't know what to do - be hot or be cold.

Also, my hair tends to freak out. I can't really straighten it because there isn't really a point! If I go outside, it's done for. If I wear it curly, it's ok, its just not 'beautiful' curls. I don't know if I just haven't figured out the right product or what.

And, March is when my due date was. I really do pretty well throughout the rest of the year. I just think about things a lot more this time of year. I have moved past it and realized that our life is exactly where it should be right now, but I'll never forget March 22nd.

I apologize for being a bit of a "Debbie Downer" tonight. I have so many blessings. I shouldn't be expecting March, April, & May to be "sucky" months. Let's take a look at what I have to look forward to...

March - Scrapbooking Getaway, Photography Training
April - Baby Shower for my Nephew
May - New Little Nephew! {And many photo sessions with him!}

Ok, so I definitely have some exciting things coming up. Life is good, Spring stinks, but it's all good.

my playlist

When I like a song, I like a song. I listen to it over and over for a couple of weeks to a month, move on, don't listen to it for like 3 years, hear it again and it's my new favorite song. Some of my faves from the past (we're talking high school and everything!) I'm also known for saying, "I don't like it." And, next week, guess what? It's my new favorite song. And, up until I found out I was losing my job, I was (yes, I admit it) one of those people that still bought CD's in the store. Oh my gosh, I know! But, now, I'm better about asking my husband to download them (since AHEM my friend Grant won't make me a CD!) Grrr...

I guess what I'm explaining is I have a pretty varied taste in music. I like alternative, rock, Christian, country, a little rap, a little folk, etc... I can usually appreciate something about all different types of music. So, I thought I'd share some of my favorites right now. New & old, because honestly, I have no idea when songs come out. I don't really listen to the radio... I get recommendations, and I either like or don't like. So, here you go, my current playlist:

Animal - Neon Trees

Jack's Mannequin - The Mixed Tape (this will stay on all future playlists FYI)

The Band Perry - If I Die Young This video is worth a watch... creepy.

Van Morrison - Into the Mystic (I KNOW this one is old) This will also forever remain on the playlist. This is my favorite song of all time... all time. And, I will never apologize for this.

Jack Ingram - Goodnight Moon (OH MY I love this song)

Jack's Mannequin - Dark Blue I really like this video too.

The Fray - You Found Me

The Script - Break Even

Lit - My Own Worst Enemy

Ben Folds - The Luckiest

Boys Like Girls - Two is Better than One

Bryan Adams - When You Love Someone (Also always on the playlist)

Ben Folds - Gracie

And, finally, this one will always be on the playlist: xoxo

So, that's what I'm listening to! Old, new, and in between!

change.

Life has been changing so fast around me. Seriously. Life as we knew it has totally been rearranged. Greg is starting a new job. I just found out that my part time position at work has been eliminated, due to them needing a full time person. So much change.

As you can see from the picture, my little guy isn't so little anymore. I swear he's growing and changing so much right before my eyes. He's turning into a boy - a sweet, caring, entertaining little guy. He has made his Mommy and Daddy so happy and so grounded during all of these changes. I'm so thankful for his patience with us while we've been stressed.

Forgive me, yet again, blogland friends. I'm trying... I'm trying...

I WILL be a regular blogger... some day... I hope any of you that read my blog still come out here and check every once in a while just to see if I'm still here! :)

Back to my friends...

So, I had this grand idea of writing about my friends for a week, and well, I had those other things on my heart so, I kind of got a little sidetracked. Today..... let's talk about Darci!

Oh, Darci. You and I have been through so many good things together, as well as many trying things. Thankfully, through it all, we've been there for each other, we've been there to pray, and we've been there just to be there. Your friendship is a wonderful blessing to me in many ways. You have taught me a lot about being a better friend and person. You have shown me your faithfulness in God. You have been an example of an excellent, patient, self-less parent.

You are a natural teacher. An instructor with the best motive - love and true devotion to your student... no matter what the area of study. You have determination, motivation, and excellent execution of your plans. You follow through with what you've set your mind to, and I admire that very much. So many of us have these amazing plans and ideas but never really follow through with them. You, however, set a goal and totally go for it.

I still question sometimes why you call me 'friend', but I'm so glad you do. I am also so pleased that our sons have become such wonderful little friends. God is faithful, friend. God is faithful.