Little Moments

Today is a big day for my little man. Today he's performing in the circus at preschool. They've been practicing for a while now and Gabe is supposed to be a lion and a strong man. (I will post pictures later!).

There have been several moments since Gabe was born that I've thought, "I can't believe I'm here. I can't believe I'm finally living one of the moments I've always dreamed of". Today is one of those days. My heart is so full today. I love my son so much. More than I ever dreamed I could love someone.

At times through the adoption, I wondered "what if I don't feel like his real mom? what if I feel like a phony? what if he eventually thinks that too?" I have to admit that I wondered those things. But, I know now that I am his mom - I am his mom 100%. There is not a small part of him that doesn't love me or know me as his mom. He knows he has a birth mom and she will never be replaced. And, she will always mean so much to him (and to me). I cannot, nor would I ever want to change that. But, when it comes to knowing what comforts him, or knowing what foods he doesn't like, or knowing when we're reaching his limit, etc... I am his Momma. I reached this point with help from his birth grandmother. She called me his mom from the beginning. She has reassured me when I've felt insecure. She has really made me feel like his mom. I am so thankful for her - I am so thankful too that they have chosen to be a part of Gabe's life. They are family - to all of us.

So today, I will be a proud Momma. Watching my little boy in the circus. Smiling from ear to ear. Holding back tears of happiness as I watch the grandparents watch him. Little moments - like this.