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Thursday, July 19, 2012

before Pinterest...

before pinterest I'm a pinner. I could be considered a pin-aholic. Pinterest is a huge time-suck for me. I was a pinner before there was a Pinterest, it's true. I got this nifty little folio from my aunt and began naming the different sections with things I loved that I saw in magazines or online. My collection grew and grew. before pinterest boards Here's one of my old school "boards". I'm not a typical gift giver. I hate giving gift cards (almost refuse to do it!) but instead love to make things for others or visit the amazing Etsy. I tend to be finicky, wanting a person's gift to be perfect for them, so sometimes I can shop forever. I love getting the reaction, "Where did you find that?" or "Oh, I'd never thought of that!". It's funny because some of my relatives will now say, "Let me guess, you got this from Pinterest!". I love it. Pinterest is not a good site for someone like me! Seriously, when the boys are in bed, I'm up late at night relaxing with a little Netflix and Pinterest. Thank heavens for two computer screens! Pinterest up on one and Netflix on the other. Recently, stand up comedies have been popular for me. Gotta love a little Ralphie May... Looking for gifts on Pinterest is fun, but so is looking for new ideas, recipes, etc... You know what kind of stinks though? Everyone is on Pinterest now. So, those neat original ideas aren't really neat and original now! :) You know the pins I'm talking about... Like projects that have been done over and over... You know those first pins you put on Pinterest and now you can't hit 'See More Pins' without seeing them? And, then there's the Pinterest guilt - which is calling someone out on something you THINK is from Pinterest and it really isn't - Like tonight, I went to a friend's 31 party. She made these appetizers. Before I could say, "These are great!" I didn't even attempt to give her credit, I just beamed at her and said, "Oh goodness! I saw these on Pinterest too! They're awesome!" Geez, Bri. Give the gal some credit! Turns out, she hadn't gotten them on Pinterest, she's actually made them since way before Pinterest. Wha? Life before Pinterest? Pinterest is kinda becoming a giant beast. :) Smash it. In other news, I just got this Smash book today! I've been wanting one for a while. Inside are nifty looking pages that you can basically journal on, plop pictures on, and creatively decorate. A glorified, messier scrapbook. Love it. This Smash book will be for me though. More about my feelings, my experiences, my marriage, my friends, etc... Gabe has a lot of albums. I'm looking forward to filling it with pages about me and bits and pieces of my life as a wife, sister, daughter, and friend. Lastly, and totally off topic, I am in love with this song right now. To many it's old, to me it's new... I don't get out much. Just listen to it... the video is kinda weird. Oh, and saw this Jason Mraz quote the other day and loved it: "Because I have (insert name here) for a friend, I know I'm awesome." Had to share that with my bestie this week.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Where I've been.

my beautiful boy.

Peek a boo... I've been gone for a while, haven't I? There are the normal excuses that life has been busy (which it has), I've been lazy (which I kind of have), and I've been uninspired. I have had a lot on my mind lately, but I haven't been out here because I didn't want to share it all. Life's been pretty hard the last couple of months and if it's on my mind, I'm going to want to write about it. So, I've purposefully stayed off the blog.

I've grown a lot in the last couple of months. I've learned so much about myself from just taking some time off and really examining myself and who I want to be. I've found that I'm just too much of a people-pleaser and I care far too much about what people think. It's quite freeing to start thinking about who you want to be and not trying to be what you think other people want you to be. It's also quite freeing to know that you're never going to please everyone, so you might as well do what makes you happy. I've also had a couple of confrontations in the last couple of months which have produced growing pains, but have made me so much stronger. I spoke up to a couple of people that have always made me feel insecure.

Being 'free' is the word that keeps coming back to me. Just being free to be myself and understand that the ones who live in my home are my family. Their opinion of me and their input on my decisions is what matters most. I have a loving, supportive husband that reassures me, backs me one hundred percent (110%...inside joke), and just plain sees me for the person I am and I'm trying to be. I have a son who loves his mom and wants to spend time with her. I am very blessed.

I know this post is rather vague. I am ready to start blogging more consistently now that I've moved on through those growing pains. I hope to really start opening up more on here and talking about feeling insecure, not worth it, etc... I think it's something a lot of people struggle with. I know I have. But, I'm moving out of that... I'm trying to leave it behind. Growing pains are rough, but they make you stronger.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

slow down.

Spring fun

Yes, I know. It's been a long time. A very long time.

Right now I really feel like God is telling me to slow down with life a little bit and take care of a few things. Slow down. Be patient and trust Me. I can't really explain it other than it is very clear that I have too much going on. Schedules are crazy and school hasn't even started yet for this kiddo. We're almost ready to finish up preschool and before kindergarten starts, we need to slow down. God has been so faithful to our family here recently.

I have been praying that we would find a church that we really loved. I wanted to find a church extremely different from the one we had been attending. I shared the same beliefs as our former church, but I just didn't feel the love. There was an issue that caused a pretty large rift in the congregation. I really feel like I've moved on and forgiven a lot of people who made choices that they felt God led them to do. I believe they prayed about their decisions and came to their conclusions based on prayer. However, their decisions didn't match our needs. We left for a couple of years, looking for new churches some Sundays, and other Sundays choosing instead to visit the church of St. Mattress... yeah, we slept in and took it easy. I'm thankful for those days. I'm thankful that Gabe wasn't really at an age to understand why we weren't going to church anywhere and that he just saw it as a another day home with Mom and Dad. However, now, he's older and our job as his parents is to introduce him to Christ. We were lacking.

A few weeks ago, a great friend of ours suggested we try this new church out. She loved it. At first, I was really reluctant to go. Really reluctant. I felt like Rodney Carrington, "Hey! We're the new people!" I dreaded the small talk and getting to know new people. I'm not good in situations like that. My husband on the other hand, is very charismatic and can strike up a conversation with most people. (Isn't it great how God matches us like that?) I'm usually clinging to his side, begging him not to leave me alone! Anyway, we went and we loved the church. It is a miniature church of a mega church we have near us, operating in a very similar way. Their childcare system is similar, the worship band is similar, and the sermons are fantastic. My favorite part of the service? They have a call to prayer. Anyone needing prayer is invited to go up front and a member of the prayer team will pray for him or her with a hand placed gently on the pray-ee's shoulder. I was so moved the first Sunday we went!

I knew I wanted a place like this. I had been praying that my husband would be excited about whatever new church we found too. That was key for me. I wanted him to love it. In our former church, since the rift, I have never felt comfortable going to anyone for a concern or counsel. I have not asked anyone to pray for me. I did not feel like I was in my home of worship. My mind was elsewhere every time we entered the door.

At the new church, there is a sense of freedom... it's all about Him. I'm not naive. I know every church has it's problems and issues. I know we are all sinners and fall short of the glory of our God. However, right now, I am basking in the joy of a new place where I haven't been scarred. I am lifting my voice to the sound of Rock of Ages. I am taking in the Scripture. I am wanting to get out of bed Sunday mornings and go back. So is my son. So is my husband.

I'm thankful for answered prayers tonight. I hope this is the place we've been looking for.

In slowing down, I also resigned from my seasonal farming job. The hours were becoming far too inconsistent. I planned on 'farming' the entire Spring. Due to a long, dry Spring my help wasn't needed other than a few days here and there. It caused Greg and I to think a lot about the future seasons as well. Not only did that mess up my schedule, it also caused the babysitter's schedule to be ever-changing which didn't seem fair to her. So, I resigned, knowing I'm going to be busy with my other part time job as well as my full time job of being a mom. I'm so thankful for my other job (working in an insurance office half days) because they are very flexible with hours and understand that especially with a child, things come up. This finally feels like a job designed for part time hours! I've tried part time twice before - once with the farming, and the other was the job I was working full time when Gabe was born. That one didn't work out so well because it wasn't thought out very well at all by the company. Knee-jerk decisions were made by people who "never wanted to make knee-jerk decisions". Yeah, I'm still a little bitter. But, that's a post for another day.

So that's where I've been. I've been reading my favorite bloggers out there, keeping up on what's up with you. But, I've not been a good blogger in letting you know what's up with me! It's an ongoing battle. :) I hope you all are well and thanks for reading! I enjoy sharing blessings with you!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

May the odds be ever in your favor.

95.365 I know...crazy.

It's very rare that a book or series of books with captivate me so much that I am unable to put them down. Reading The Hunger Games was totally captivating. I have to say, the first book had me nail biting and shivering for the characters. I read the book in two or three days and during that time, I didn't get to bed before 1:00 am. I paid attention to so many of the details and really tried to make the book last.

After I finished the first book, we were in a large town nearby and I wanted to buy the 2nd and 3rd book at Walmart. Walmart online had the books for nearly $3.00 cheaper (per book) if you delivered them to the store to pick them up. So, we thought we would ask if they would just honor the price difference. I mean really, do you think the big Walmart in the sky is going to ship 2 books to the Walmart store and have them there and ready for me? Or do you think some Walmart employee was going to just go grab the two books off the shelf and set them aside for me. I think the latter is probably what would happen! Well, they wouldn't honor the prices... grr...

So, based on principle, we didn't buy the books that night. The next day, I decided I couldn't wait to have them shipped from somewhere and I'd just go to a nearby smaller town with a Walmart there and pay the ugly Walmart creature it's money. But, to my surprise, they DID NOT have books 2 and 3. WHAT? C'mon! This is only the most popular series out now! So, fed up with Walmart, I finally went to Kmart... knowing I'd pay more but now absolutely against feeding the Walmart creature any of my money.

I got the books, paid $3.00 more for them than the online Walmart price and was happy that I finally had my hands on them.

If you haven't had a chance to read this series, add it to your Goodreads! If you're not familiar with Goodreads, it's a website where you can create a series of bookshelves of books you'd like to read, books you've read, and books you are reading. I'm sure you can create more shelves, but I'm set up pretty basic right now. You can also add friends to your Goodreads. You can take a look at what books they are reading and and them to your shelves. Another benefit to Goodreads is they can recommend books for you based on what you've read and liked. Then, I request them from my local library through inter-library loan. I start that process while I'm still reading another book to give my library time to get my requested book. I also like the site because the books have been rated by other readers.

So, I'll be back in Panem once again, looking forward to another round of The Hunger Games. Effie, Haymitch, Peeta, Katniss, Gale, all my favorite characters. I know things will turn out the same, but maybe I'll catch some details that were overlooked the first time. Oh, I should point out something funny too... A few weeks ago, I borrowed Tina Fey's book from a friend. Unbeknownst to me, my son took my booklight, stirred it into some Vicks Vaporub, and smeared it on the back of her book. She very sweetly declined a new copy of the book and just put the jacket back on it. A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine borrowed the first Hunger Games book. While she was reading it, she (or one of her kids) got a lot of butter on it! HA! When she returned my book, she presented my babysitter with a new copy of the book (which I would've declined if I was there!) How funny!! We moms try to save a little money by borrowing books and then our kids make us end up buying them anyway! PS: Thanks, Kimberly for being so gracious!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

my darlin.

my darlin.

If you were a boat, my darling
A boat, my darling
I'd be the wind at your back
If you were afraid, my darling
Afraid, my darling
I'd be the courage you lack

If you were a bird, then I'd be a tree
And you would come home, my darling, to me
If you were asleep, then I'd be a dream
Wherever you are, that's where my heart will be
Oh, do you know we belong together?
Oh, do you know my heart is yours?

If you were the ocean, I'd be the sand
If you were a song, I'd be the band
If you were the stars, then I'd be the moon
A light in the dark, my darling, for you

Oh, do you know we belong together?
Oh, do you know my heart is yours?

(My favorite parts in bold - although I could have bolded the entire song!)

I have been somewhat captivated by this song since I first heard it. If you haven't heard it, I would encourage you to listen to it. It is the sweetest thing. It reminds me of me and my Gabers so very much.

I've been somewhat captivated by my little boy here lately too. Life has just been so good. I have cried listening to this song, how much it reminds me that we belong together. Us. Gabe, Greg, & Me. My little boy is growing up so fast. As I listen to the song right now, tears running down my cheeks, I know that my heart is permanently fastened to this wonderful kid. I'm forever going to be his mom: the wind at his back, the courage he lacks, a light in the dark. A soft place to land, always home, his biggest cheerleader, a shoulder to cry on, a kiss for the ouchies.

What a gift to me. God has blessed me.

Friday, March 30, 2012

where have I been?

Life has been busy and my second job hasn't even started back up yet. I swear by the time Gabe goes to bed at night, I'm wiped. All I want to do is catch up on my 'programs' and play a little Words with Friends. Wiped.

90.365 Delicious!

Tonight we had an awesome dinner. Chipotle-esque carnita soft tacos, complete with the cilantro lime rice. It was fantastic! Greg loved them too.


Another wonderful thing that has been taking up my time has been The Hunger Games. Fantastic books. Fantastic. The first book was addicting... I couldn't stop reading it. The second book was good, and the third book started out slow but got very interesting about halfway through. Now that the series is over, I'm feeling a little bit lost. If you haven't read them, do it!!

88.365 Somehow I knew this day would come.

Ahhh, yes, and this. (He's not pouting, I just made him bend his head down to show off his new 'do'). Gabe decided that he was going to become a hairstylist, I guess. I actually didn't freak out about this... I laughed. I had to hold the laughter back while I was in front of him. Obviously, we had to have a talk about the dangers of scissors and how you can only use them with an adult. But, inside I was just cracking up.

I started a new job a couple of weeks ago. I'm doing some internet-based plat mapping/proofing for an insurance agency in a nearby town. I really like it. I can't believe how much my work for my other job (with a farm chemical application business) helped to prepare me for this job. Both jobs really kind of fell into place... Scheduling and everything. Basically, I'll be working 40 hours a week during the chemical applicator's busy season (April through June/July and Oct & Nov) and the rest of the time, I'll be working fewer hours... depending on the insurance agency's needs. So, for a few months of the year, I'll be pretty busy.

I have to be honest... I don't know how working moms work 40+ hours a week. How they get all the laundry, dishes, dusting, vacuuming, etc... done? Then, add on the guilt. I always feel guilty, even when I'm working part time that I don't get Gabe to the park often enough, or he isn't outside much of the time. How does it happen??? When do these moms get their other work done? I mean, if they spend most of their day outside with their kids, how do they clean, do laundry, and put a hot meal on the table at the end of the day? I need to somehow find a balance.

It's reallllly easy to slip into the Mom Insecurity Zone. Do any of you fall into that? If so, how do you cope with it? Thankfully, my husband plays a lot with Gabe outside while I'm trying to get dinner ready. While I'm full time, there are gonna be a lot of crockpot meals. I guess I just gotta do the best that I can, and try not to feel guilty that I'm not doing enough.

I recently went to a mom's seminar in which they discussed 'true guilt' vs. 'false guilt'. True guilt is when you've done something to violate God's law or man's law - something you can repent for and try to mend either with God or man. False guilt is just the opposite. It's stuff you worry about that hasn't happened, or you haven't offended, and isn't supported by either of those requirements. I've been trying to let a lot of the false guilt go. I know I'm loving my child, working hard for my family, and honoring my husband. I'm doing my best to be a good friend, a good daughter, and a good sibling. Sure, I make mistakes every day and I do pray about those things. I ask God for help in being a good mother. I guess that is all I can do.

So, if you're a mom with false guilt, let it go. If you have true guilt, do what you can do (what God has asked us to do) to mend it. And, holy cow... it's tough for all of us, so let's be real! (Nothing irks me more than the moms with the perfect life, perfect balance, perfect kids.) C'mon, one of her kids had to have clogged her toilet with a decorative ball at least once, right? Not that it's happened to me... (Ok, so it happened at my parent's house, but it was still my kid).

Friday, March 16, 2012

75:365 Some of my Favorites

5.365 Janx

I am 75 days into my 365 project. I'm so glad I decided to take part in it. 75 days! I haven't missed one! It's been a really fun thing to do. When I started the project, I thought it would be fun to add text to each picture so I could remember what I was thinking when I took it. I have gone back and forth as to whether or not I like the text on the pictures. But, I started it, so I gotta finish it that way. Look at my Janx... isn't she sweet?

24.365 Love me my Greggie.

I really liked this picture of our class rings. Our high school dating days were wonderful. I had an excellent boyfriend. Accepting his marriage proposal was the best decision I've ever made in my life.

29.365 babysitting Dougie

Ha! I love this picture of Dougie. What a sweetheart. I've been able to see him a lot in the last couple of weeks and have just really enjoyed that time with him.

34.365 Getting Ready for Valentine's Day.

My sweet boy! I love this picture of him. Bless his little heart for all the photography patience he has with his Mom!

48.365 that smile

Oh, and this one! Look at that face! I'm biased, but what a handsome little boy.

59.365 I think this pretty much speaks for itself.

You know that dating website commercial that says "we laugh every day."? Greg and I really do. "We laugh every day" is a quote at our house that makes us laugh.

71.365 Sweet 16 for Braden!

And, I love this picture of the Herrman boys. Braden has always been so great with Gabe.

I'm looking forward to the next 75 days. In just the little amount of time I feel like I've already learned quite a bit.