NILMDTS

In the past year, I've been on three Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep sessions. It has been a life-changing experience for me. Each session has been very different and each session has been very emotional. I wanted to blog today to raise awareness for this amazing organization. Being a part of it has changed my life in so many ways.

Each time I have gotten a call, the pit in my stomach drops and my palms get sweaty and cold. I start shaking a bit, due to nerves - being nervous about what I'm going to see, what I'm going to hear, and what I'm going to say and do. I pray for my skills and abilities to shine. I pray that I know how to react when I need to. I pray that I remain professional. And I pray for the families. I pray that above all else, that God would hold all of them throughout this time.

I was fortunate enough to go up to the Chicago area for some training on March 6th with Julie Williams. She is on the board for NILMDTS and provides training sessions for photographers. I learned so much from this training and was able to network with some other photographers. Then, Tuesday March 8th, I got a call to go do a session. I was so thankful to have been a part of the training. It helped me get through that particularly tough session.

It's been an honor to be a part of Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. It's taught me so much about myself, my loss, and how to help others through their loss. It's shown me how to be quietly compassionate... a touch on the shoulder, a whisper to a baby, gentle posing, quietly stepping out of the room, getting water, a soft smile, a small fist wrapped around a pinky... I am honored that parents have had us there in their darkest of moments, those moments of the birth of their child and possibly the passing. The moments when they say goodbye. What an honor that they are trusting you with such precious moments.

This isn't something I "enjoy" doing. I don't look forward to these sessions. I dread them because I know the amount of pain behind them. However, I am totally honored, humbled, and amazed at this organization. I feel like this is something I need to do. I have sobbed and poured my heart out to God for these families (the car ride home is silent except for crying and prayers) and the hug waiting at home for me has become my rock.

I want to encourage anyone out there, photographer, parents, grandparents, etc... when you think about tithing, volunteering, etc... think about this organization. Think about how these parents never want to forget that beautiful child brought into their lives if only for a short time. Thank you, NILMDTS for being such a gift to these families, and to me. I am truly changed.