Bad week is more like it. (just be prepared... Debbie Downer's guest blogging today! HA!)
Today, I picked up Gabe from preschool and found out from his teacher that he had some problems in class. He didn't want to get in line at the end of class and he made some faces behind her back when she was trying to correct the situation.
I was really embarassed. One of my friends told me once not to let my child's behavior define whether or not I'm a good parent. But, I feel like it totally does! I mean, obviously, your kids learn that behavior somewhere. I know I don't make faces at Greg, (and hopefully he doesn't make faces at me!) but he's picked it up somewhere. And, we've all thought in our head at one point or another, "Look at that kid... why aren't his parents doing a better job of disciplining him?" Or, "Look at that! My daughter would never do THAT!"
We've been dealing with some really awful tantrums here lately too. Like really awful. Screaming, kicking, hitting, throwing things, etc... I have been dreading blogging about it, because I've been afraid it'll make me look like a bad mom. We love our son so very much. We really are pretty consistent with discipline. He knows if he starts a tantrum, he has to go up to his room and can't come down until he can talk nicely to us. While he's up there, he may throw things (we can hear toys being thrown). Then, he calls downstairs and tells us he's ready to come down. We tell him he cannot come down until he picks up the things he was throwing. So far, that's been working pretty well. The tantrums are pretty short-lived (5-7 minutes, enough time for him to cool down). Then, he comes downstairs and every thing is fine again.
I'd like to get to the point where there are no tantrums at all. Because that first couple of minutes is pretty brutal. It's so hard to keep your patience because you just want to get frustrated and yell back. I finally decided to just blog about this for a couple of reasons... I want other moms to know that if their kids are doing the same things, they are not alone! I feel pretty alone sometimes going through this. Also, it's just really been an issue and I was hoping some of the moms out there that read my blog might have a little advice.
I'm feeling pretty vulnerable about putting this out there. But, I know it and you know it, there's no such thing as a perfect mom! We've all got things we could/should be doing better. And, this is my first go at this... I don't know what's normal and what's not. Any comments/suggestions would be much appreciated! Or, if you want to share your stories too, other moms might benefit from knowing they aren't alone.
You are not alone!! Thank you for blogging! I think all moms feel the same way - just know that no matter what, your kids WILL embarrass you at some point in time, and probably many many times. Save up some embarrassing stories and your kids will get payback in their teenage/adult years;)
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are doing everything right, being consistent and letting him know that the tantrums are not cool. I say keep at it, and before long he'll realize he's not getting anything out of it, except a few broken toys from throwing them, and I bet he'll stop. Or someday he'll just grow out of it, believe me he will - hang in there.
Do you use a reward chart? When my kids were probably that age, we got the 'I can do it! reward chart' from kensonparenting.com. It comes with different chores and some you can customize, so you could make a No Tantrums to put on there. They get a star for doing each thing, like making the bed, no mean words, brushing teeth, and if they get so many stars that week they get a reward.And the rewards can either be a new toy, or things like stay up an extra 15 minutes, an extra book at bedtime,etc.They really did well with that, and we still use the charts now. They now do things like feeding the pets, setting the table, cleaning up the dishes, etc. There are also supplemental packs you can buy for things like schoolwork when they're older, or religious ones like saying prayers, etc.
Hey Bri,
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up! Once Gabe gets over this, sad to say it will be something else. Shelby is big into lying right now. Pretty much over stupid stuff like, "are you wearing socks with those boots?" And I can tell by the look on her face that she's lying. Do you think he can sense changes with the new baby coming and he is acting out? You just never know with kids some days! Good luck and keep up the great work mom!
Thank you for sharing. I had that same feeling when Colton will not do something we ask him, but if Rachael asks him he does it. Heck he does it at her house on his own! I cried. Mike said its normal. But I know how it feels. Its just comforting to have friends like you and Steph W. that are open and able to relate :)
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