Stay at Home Mom

We have a little issue with bedtime. We put Gabe to bed in his own room, but when we come upstairs to go to bed, he seems to have found his way into our room. So, every night we move him back to his own bed. If Greg's out of town on a trip, I'll let him sleep with me since I'm a hard sleeper. I'm always afraid I won't hear him if he wakes up or something. Greg was gone the other night and I came upstairs and found him like this! I had to laugh and roll my eyes. He was lying across the entire bed.

It's been nearly 3 months that I have been a stay at home mom due to my seasonal job. I have to say, I'm getting a little stir crazy. I need to work some outside of the home, just to get out a bit - to interact with people, have a little "me" time where I'm not wondering what the heck my child is getting into! Don't get me wrong... the first 3 weeks were great. I was Super Mom... We did something new every day, creative and fun things, and we had a blast! After that first three weeks though, holy cow... creativity was hard to find. I have a kiddo that needs to be busy all the time, or he will find something to do on his own that usually involves orneriness. Example? Pumping all of our foap (foam soap) out into the sink. Or, a Cocoa Pebbles parade (parade meaning throwing things into the air like confetti)...yeah, I taught him what a parade was. Ugh.

I LOVE my son and enjoy him so much. But, lately I feel like all I've been saying is, "Gabe, why would you DO that?" Like when I caught him taking pieces of my wicker hamper apart. Or, "No, you can't chase Jinxi with a sword!" (for my sanity! Trust me - a 5 year old yelling and running with a sword and a dog continuously barking is about enough to make you lose your mind!) So, there's no preschool today and I've gotta find something for us to do.

As a way to get Gabe to start helping out with some chores, I made this chore chart. He's done really well with it! The chart is set up for a week. He gets a dime/quarter/whatever loose change we have for every chore he completes on the chart. If he doesn't complete the chore for that day, he gets a little frown face. For every frown face, a dime goes into the frown jar. And, every time he sasses his parents or misbehaves, money from the allowance jar goes into the frown jar. I had to put a dime in the frown jar yesterday because he got mad and stuck his tongue out at me. :) It was very effective though! After his allowance jar is filled with dimes, quarters, etc... he gets to take it to the bank, cash it in, and go to the store that same day. It really seems to be working well! I'm so glad. It seemed like every punishment we set up, he didn't really think was a big deal. And, see the check marks on the chart? How cute are those? Gabe likes to do them all by himself. I got the dry erase idea from Pinterest and I love it. We can use the same chart every week and just erase it clean for the next week.

sharing some thoughts

I don't know if any of you watch Dr. Phil, and I don't even know what day this episode was on (I've been spending the evening catching up on DVR'd episodes after Gabe went to bed), but there was a horrific story on about a young girl who was physically and sexually abused and kept in a closet for six years of her life. Six years. The physical damage done to this child, not to mention the mental and emotional damage, took my breath away and made me sob for her. I could not look away from the television and I could not control the tears coming down my cheeks and the heaviness upon my heart.

This girl was two years old when the closet became her bedroom, lunchroom, and bathroom. She was only taken out to be tortured physically, emotionally, and sexually by her 'mother' and step'father'. This little girl's name was Lauren.

I'm blogging tonight because I don't think I'll be able to sleep. Right now, my son is curled up in our bed, sleeping peacefully. Every night, we put him to bed in his room, come downstairs to watch a little TV or surf Pinterest and it never fails... we come upstairs to go to bed and he's sound asleep right smack dab in the middle of our bed. We move him to his own room and we chuckle about how cute he was. He feels safe here. Hopefully, most children do feel safe in their home. Hopefully most children hear very often what I know my son hears every single day - "I love you".

I'm so struggling with this tonight. There are so many mothers out there - women born to be mothers. God has given them a heart to love and nurture children. He has given them a heart to want to teach their children to make the right choices and to love others and to love God. But, why this, Lord? Why? How can this be part of your master plan?

Lauren was abused so severely that she was found with lice in her hair, her digestive system was impacted with drywall, wood, and plastic from bowls because she was hungry. She was so severely sexually abused that she required major reconstructive surgery. What this child experienced - what her normal became - was so horrific, most of us couldn't even begin to imagine a nightmare like this one. The only time Lauren's tears really began to overwhelm her on the show was when she was told how her mother reacted to the things she had done to her daughter. She acted angry, not guilty. She showed mild concern for her other children, but referred to Lauren as "it". She really had no excuses or any shame.

For most of us who have grown up in a pretty 'normal' home, I think we have a hard enough time getting over our own issues that seem to tie us down. Our parents weren't and aren't perfect, and as a parent neither am I. Someday, Gabe's going to be blaming me for something I'm sure! But, at the end of the day, I always knew I was safe and I always knew my parents loved me. Always. I may have thought decisions were unfair or unreasonable - as any teenager would - but never, ever would I or will I experience what this poor child did. These people weren't parents - they were monsters. Evil, torturing monsters.

So tonight, when I see my child in bed, and while tears roll down my cheeks, I will be praying over him. I will pray that he always knows how much I love him. I will be praying a prayer of thanksgiving that God protected me and many that I love from any terrible experience like this. And, I will be praying for Lauren.

Lauren ended up being adopted by the mother who raised her until she was two years old. She was placed in an adoption situation (they didn't go into much detail... I'm assuming it was foster care until an adoption was finalized) but was returned to her birth mother through the court system. Her adoptive mother desperately tried to fight it, seeing bruises when Lauren returned from visits with her birth mother. Her birth mother won custody and after Lauren was found and treated in the hospital, she returned to live with her adoptive mother. Her real mother, the one who loved her, cared for her, and was so very proud of her was on the stage with her and beamed with pride in how far Lauren had come. It was so good to see that Lauren had a cheerleader and protector from now on.

I am sorry to share a sad story with you, but it was on my heart. It's just one of those things I'll ask the Big Guy when I get there. Why are there people who can have children, multiple children, who could do something like this when there are women out there who weep to have children, who would put themselves through so much physical and emotional pain to have children. Someday, we'll know and we'll see it all clearly. I believe that. It's just tonight, I can't fathom it all making sense.

Kill the Deer!

We had the greatest time this last weekend. A few months ago, my brother in law, Rene asked if we wanted to join them for the annual Kill the Deer game. (Milwaukee Bucks vs. Chicago Bulls). We were supposed to go last year, had the tickets purchased and everything, but we weren't able to go. Boo..... But this year, we were totally able to go! Gabe stayed with his best friend's family overnight and did great!

Here's part of the group. I wasn't in the picture (I was taking it) and some others weren't there yet. This was a little pre-party before the game. Beer, great music, and great company. My sisters Jenny & Lindsey, along with their husbands, Rene & Matt, and some of their friends were a part of the group. So fun!

Here are my two lovely sisters! I'm so blessed to have a very close-knit family. These ladies are the best sisters a girl could ask for.

And here's me & my hubby at the game! Rene got us awesome seats too!


And, this sweet little family! Jenny, Rene, & Anna! I just noticed she is missing one of her boots! Anna is just a little delight! She runs around, squeals, laughs, and loves everyone! She makes my day when she reaches for me to hold her. I love that she remembers me even though we don't see each other often.


Yep, that's my Goddaughter! She's a delight!

After the game, we went out to some of the bars near the arena, including this amazing country bar with a mechanical bull. There are no pictures post game - I didn't feel comfortable with taking my camera out! I did not ride the mechanical bull, but there was one person in our group who did... I will not mention any names... :) The bars were really packed, but we had a blast. After that, we headed to a casino to lose some money. Also, a lot of fun. When we got back to the hotel, we were hungry, but it was near impossible to find something to eat. So, while we waited in our hotel lobby, Greg took a cab and brought back 2 sacks full of McDonalds. We discovered that we are getting a little old, but after a couple beers, you start to feel quite young again! We got to bed around 4:00 am - not used to that at all - and got up around 8:30 to make the trek home.

As an update to the diet, I've been trying. Honestly, it's been extremely, extremely hard. I've not been following strictly, but I'm trying. It's so hard to completely change your way of life. I could make a thousand excuses. I would just ask that if you are a prayer, please keep me in your prayers.

1st official day of life change.

I went to the dietician yesterday. I was really expecting to go in there and get the crap scared out of me. Yeah, didn't happen. This dietician was so blah. She talked about diabetes like it wasn't considered a big deal if you had to go on insulin... That some people just have the hereditary factor that gets you to that point. It isn't considered failure if you can't control your diabetes with diet and excercise. Yeah, that'll motivate me!

I did learn some very useful tidbits of information. One being to follow a plate rule like this one:

So, today I ate my lunch like this plate shows. One entire side of my plate was full of green beans! Yum! And, a quarter of the plate had shrimp on it, cooked with a little bit of garlic. Finally, I had three of the above crackers and one small apple. Total carbs for the meal = 31! I came in right under the target of 40.

During the day today has gone very well. Nighttime is where I have the biggest trouble. I'm going to do my best though! We're having chicken tonight (on the grill, even though Greg will be freezing his baguettes off!) and I think we're going to have some broccoli too.

I have journalled all the food I've eaten today. That's a big help in terms of accountability. After dinner, I'm going to go use the treadmill. I'm off to a good start today.

PS: I appreciate the comments the last couple of days. For some reason though, Blogger isn't letting me comment on my own blog. Weird.

Skin Care Review

Just curious... what are your skin care products? I've had a hard time in the past just finding the right combination to go with my skin. I have an extremely dry face... not flaky dry, but redness dry. When I don't have makeup on, my skin is very blotchy and red, especially around my chin. I went to have a facial a few months ago with a giftcard I had because I was concerned that maybe I had Rosacea. The esthetician believed that I just had very dry skin since I didn't appear to have any broken capillaries. She suggested I definitely use a toner without alcohol and a moisturizer that was very hydrating.

It's been tough coming up with a good combination, but I think for me, I might be on the right track. Since I'm working part time right now, I don't feel right about buying the expensive stuff, so I've been working with over the counter Walmart stuff.

The Cetaphil was suggested because its not a harsh cleanser at all - no exfolliants or good smelly fragrance. (man, I miss the smell of Noxema!) Honestly, I feel like I'm hardly cleaning my face with anything but water. But, I think it's getting the job done.

Next, I use the Neutrogena alcohol-free toner. I really like this. It's nice and cool but doesn't sting like our old friend Noxema. You knew you were getting your face clean with that stuff! An old friend of mine once took a cotton ball soaked with Noxema to a door at my Dad's automotive shop - a door that was filthy with grease and grime. Noxema made a spot on that door white as snow. Imagine what it was doing to my face!

At night, I use the Loreal Revitalift or the Ponds depending on how dry my face feels. The Loreal seems to be a nice moisturizer, but aimed towards more average skin. The Ponds definitely moisturizes, but leaves my face feeling greasy. This is where I have the trouble. What moisturizer do you use at night?

I also use the Aveeno Smart Essentials eye roller at night. I just got this product and I really like it. It makes my skin feel tighter around my eyes. It did sting just a tad when I put it on, but it wasn't bad. I can't wait to try this in the morning.

Finally, in the morning, I use the Garnier Moisture Rescue. This is a favorite for me! It's a cool gel and it doesn't leave my face feeling greasy. I like it because I can put it on after I was my face in the morning and then I can put my makeup on right after. It goes great with the Bare Minerals makeup.

So, what are your skincare secrets? Any suggestions? I would love to know of some great products that don't cost an arm an a leg.

missing college and other news

Aren't laundromats the coolest? I had to run into town today to get a couple of groceries and decided to take my camera along. I love this laundromat. One of my goals for this year is to lose some weight. After I lose weight, I want to have a family photo session of the three of us... and I want to have it here! How fun will that be?!

Laundromats always make me think of college. Hauling baskets of laundry from mine and Greg's apartments... doing 2 weeks worth of laundry in one night. We had some great times in the laundromat... we would sit around reading magazines, talking, and goofing around. There are things I miss about college. I miss dating my husband, staying up late (and sleeping in late), no real responsibility, etc... But, those days are gone and on to better days!

Recently, I had a bloodwork panel done to check my thyroid levels. For several years, I've been battling hypothyroidism. My thyroid is so low-functioning that I take medication at a level that is as if I don't even have a thyroid gland. Its a very frustrating disease because it affects so many different things: fertility, memory, body temperature, the heart, etc... Along with my thyroid levels being checked, my A1C was also checked along with cholesterol and my Vitamin D level. My A1C was high and my Vitamin D level was extremely low.

Diabetes runs in my family on both sides. I'm pretty much doomed. Right now, I am considered a type II diabetic. Those were really hard words to hear.

I made an appointment with a nutritionist for tomorrow. I'm really scared. I need to change my eating habits. They aren't horrible... I mean, it's not like I sit around all day with a Snickers in one hand and a cheeseburger in the other hand. But, I grew up eating meat and potatoes and a sugary snack after school and at night. I still live that way. I know it's wrong. Any time I've tried to change things, I get so confused... this food is right to eat, this one is wrong. Then the next month, the right one is the wrong one and vice versa. So, tomorrow, I'm going to the nutritionist, telling her about my levels, and hopefully getting answers to a lot of questions about how to live better. Basically, I don't want to end up on insulin, worried about my eyesight or losing a limb.

I wasn't sure if I should blog about this. And, even now, typing it I'm not sure I want to post it. I mean, if I post this, there is accountability that I take action. That scares me. It'd be so much easier to just stay the way I am. So, I'm posting this, hoping for no judgement but for support instead. I'm asking that you, friends, believe in me that I can change. I really want to. And, I really don't think I have a choice.

Gabe is 5 years old!

We had Gabe's 5th birthday party on Saturday. We had a lot of family come over and we had a great time! Since he was turning five, I wanted to make this birthday extra special. I put a lot of planning into it and had a blast doing all the preparations.


A couple of weeks before the party, I ordered the Life's a Party Cricut cartridge so I could make decorations. The treasure map and treasure chest were a couple of my favorites. I also made skulls and crossbones. At Halloween, Gabe was a pirate. My sister was having Anna's pictures taken at Portrait Innovations, so I decided to take Gabe in his costume for some studio pictures. I'm so glad I did! He loves pirates and I'm glad I'll always have these!

Here's the birthday cake I made. I found out how to make a stacked cake on Pinterest and then I did my best with tools I had here to frost it. I wish it would've turned out smoother, but it did taste really great! And, it beats paying $50+ for a cute custom cake. I got the pirate candle on clearance at Hobby Lobby (yes!) and I made the little cake toppers with the Cricut machine. Behind the cake are letters that spell "ARGH". I bought the letters at Hobby Lobby and decoupaged scrapbooking paper on the front of them. There's also a little skull that I bought at Halloween.

I really loved how this looked! I got the little Ikea stones at a local thrift store as well as the treasure bowl. Always check out your thrift stores for cheap idea decor!! I had the 'jewels' and pirates' gold left over from Gabe's Christmas treasure chest.

These were so fun too! I found the paper straws at Crate & Barrel on clearance. The skeleton straws came from the Dollar Store at Halloween. I had a couple of bread crumb containers that I covered in scrapbooking paper and put a couple of stickers on to decorate them to hold the straws. I made the little food description cards on the Cricut and put them next to the food items.

These individual 7 layer dips were a big hit! I found the recipe on Pinterest and went with it! They were super easy and they look great too.

Greg made these cupcake stands for me. We went to the dollar store and found some plates and glasses, turned the glasses upside down, epoxied the plates to the glass base, and then spray painted them a pirate red. I love how they turned out! And, I can keep them to use at Christmastime too. I made the little cupcake toppers (the treasure chests and the skull and crossbones) on the Cricut. I bought the 'G' ones at Hobby Lobby on clearance.

This was my 365 picture for today... I love, love, love this umbrella from Abba Herrman! How sweet is this? Gabe got some great gifts... Lego sets he didn't have (that was a miracle!!) and a lot of really sharp clothes. He's gonna be a little studmuffin!

Little Dougie fell asleep on Aunt Lindsey... how sweet! The little bugger was so tired! He's so sweet too... he was all smiley. What a little joy! I get to babysit him Jan 29th and I'm excited to have some baby time!

Happy 5th birthday, my sweet little pirate. Your mom and dad love you more than anything in this entire world. 5 years ago, we brought you home and you changed our lives only for the better. You have made us a family. I know I went a little overboard on this birthday, but I wanted it to be so very special for you. I know you're starting to make memories... This Christmas was very special and so was this birthday. Dad and I want you to look back on days like these and not remember the presents, the decorations, or the other trappings, but to remember how many people love you and how your parents wanted you to feel special on your day. We love you, Gabe Douglas.